*Le Sigh* (that's sigh in french)

It's one of those days where nothing is going right. You know the ones I'm talking about?? And I can tell myself that part of it is the PMS hormones raging through my body currently but I can't keep myself from feeling it.

I suppose I get myself into these situations. Maybe I expect too much of people. I hold everyone up to the standards that I try to achieve and invariably I get let down. My personal philosophy is to try to learn something from every experience, but especially the bad ones. I mean if you don't, what are you left with? If you don't at least take away a lesson, then all you've had is some bad luck and suckiness. And if you take away the lesson, what's the point in not putting it into practice? I do. And yet, I guess others don't. And maybe it's unfair of me to expect them too.

Whoever it was that said "the more things change, the more things stay the same" sure had the right of it. I wonder if they'd been recently let down too? I know this is probably the most confusing post ever, but I had to get that out.

Going to Springfield this evening, after my knee MRI. We're having dinner with the 'rents at Texas Roadhouse and picking up CJ for a couple of days. Pretty excited about that!

And yes, we do have pretty good kids. =]

big heartfelt sighs,
♥Gert

I was excited for what exactly??

You know how we always talk about how we wait for our husbands to come home from work, anticipate their arrival eagerly, and then within five minutes of them walking in the door..they say something dumb and you want them to leave again? Guess what? It works the same with kids!! I know, I was totally flabbergasted too. I was really looking forward to Lulu and Jethro coming home from camp last night. I couldn't wait to hear their camp stories and eat dinner together and just bask in our family togetherness. I really do miss them during the week. Bubba was home too. Finally, a family night. Sceech! Hold that thought. So the kids get here earlier than expected, and as you know, I was on the phone with you. I was sitting in the family room. Well, the next thing I know Jethro is drinking my drink and eating my pistachios. Then he downs his father's drink that is sitting on the bookcase. Then Bubba comes in and takes over the computer and they have a loud conversation while I'm trying to hear you. Then Lulu storms in with a piece of mail demanding to know why she got it as though it's my fault somehow?! Sweet bejeezus! I got up, gave them all dirty looks and locked myself in my bathroom so we could continue our conversation. Unbelievable. So much for my family togetherness.

I'd love to say it got better from there but not so much. Bubba left while I was in the bathroom and missed dinner. The other two were just sassy all night (camp always does this to them). At one point, I looked at Larry and mouthed silently "Is is Sunday yet?" I feel lucky to have survived the night without killing anyone. Now I guess I have to get through today. And the mountain of stinky laundry they brought with them. Oh joy.

We were watching a movie the other night and the teenage son in it screamed at his mother "I can't wait to get the bleep out of here!" I looked at Larry and said "Isn't that when parents want to look at their kids and go 'you and me both brat, you and me both'?" While my kids have never actually said those words, they have joked about how they think I want them to live with me forever. WTF? Are they crazy?! Apparently they don't realize that I have a life independent of them and that I really value my privacy and quiet time. I guess it will come as a shock to them to find out that the last few weeks, their Dad and I have percolated along just fine. Quite well in fact.

Ah well, someday they'll get it I guess.

about to tear my hair out,
♥Gert

Letting go...

I have decided you're right. There's truly nothing I can do. Yes, I do remember how I felt. Unfortunately, I now also understand how mom & dad felt. And Larry summed it all up when he said "god, the next time I see your dad I'm going to apologize profusely for what I put him through. he's a better man then me". So there you go. And through it all...mad as they were...I still knew they loved me. And really...this bad choice is NOT worth losing my daughter or the relationship I have with her over. And maybe (huge "maybe" here) it will come out all right in the end. As you said, I've fought the good fight, the best way I knew how. Time to trust her judgement. (Wow. Who knew that was gonna be so damn hard or suck so bad?) So in the interest of that...I'm actually going to the jewelry store with him today. I know that sounds counter productive but if he's determined to buy a ring...I'm going to make sure it's worthy of my baby. And maybe she'll be smart enough to say no anyway? Yeah...I'm not betting the farm on it...but engaged isn't married.

Christmas christmas christmas. Geez! Seriously, I'm bowing down to your magnificent feat of organization. Seriously, who knew you had it in you??? Or that you and Jerome could actually work together without being at each others throats? I have only accomplished the feat of finishing my christmas shopping before thanksgiving once in my entire life. And it was totally on my own. Most of my gifts will be of the homemade variety this year...so please...pretend you like them. As long as I stick with edibles for the men, I know I'm safe. Lol. But I do need to get my crafty little butt in gear.

So we are not going to be able to come to your house for Thanksgiving. Sorry love. I can't afford the gas. So I opted for saying we were going and staying home...just me, Larry & Jethro...Lulu has committed to going to Peter's relatives. But Larry says we must make appearances at his family's shindigs. Woo freakin hoo. This means I get to make a call to the non favorite sis in law to get times and my bring a covered dish assignment. I couldn't be more thrilled. Go holidays!

Well, I'm off to town. At least I have lunch with Roxy to look forward to. And a trip to the library. Yeah...I live the exciting life. You know you're jealous. =]

good friends, good food, good books,
gert♥

Bah Humbug!

Hildi,

Why is she my mom when she's doing something bad? Do you only claim her when she's good?! So flashback for you...remember my senior year when I asked mom & dad for birth control? After all of their "you can come to us with anything" talks and I screwed up my courage to face them, they exploded. Mom way more then Dad, surprisingly. Remember how not only did I not get my birth control, but Mom didn't speak to me for three solid weeks (not a word). She even asked Dad to go shopping with her!!! I do not want to be like that. Really. But I'm so upset & disappointed with Lulu right now it's hard to even look at her, much less speak civilly. All the cautious optimism? Yeah, that's just me fooling myself. Apparently Peter & his friend George are fixing up the house George bought (currently it lacks plumbing in the bathroom) so that they (and Lulu) will have a place to live. And he's going ahead and buying the ring. Not only am I scared s#!tless for her, I just feel so betrayed. I know...they are supposed to grow up and gain some independence and eventually leave the nest. I also know that they will fall in love and then put that person above all others including mom & dad. And if I thought he was even remotely worthy of her love or even had the potential to be worthy...I think (I hope) I could be supportive even though she's so young. But my stars...to put someone who's obsessive, controlling, drunk, mean spirited, and dumb (sorry, but he is!) above the family that has bent over backwards for you for your entire life just seems like a slap in the face. And I'm not sure how to handle this best. Good god...why can't they come with instruction booklets...and troubleshooting tips like electronic devices do??!

Hahahaha on your christmas woes! Not that I am unsympathetic...I've just been there...and the only thing to do is laugh...or you will cry. I gave up ever asking Larry for gift-giving suggestions long ago. I make a list, do the shopping, and then tell him what I bought. Mostly, I do all the wrapping too because he sucks at it. He even gets Lulu to make a list for him, shop with him (sometimes without him), and then wrap the gifts he gets me!!! Which is an improvement because the first year we spent christmas together he gave me all my gifts in brown paper sacks. I cried. Did I mention that the man hates christmas? Seriously! Has ever since I met him. And in what will be 20 christmases together, I have not been able to change his mind or inject any appreciation for the yuletide festivities into his spirit. Weird, huh? He is the original Scrooge. Bah Humbug!

Speaking of our parental units, I will be seeing them tomorrow I guess. They are coming down to gma's and I so I will go over there for a little while. Guess I better get Jethro & Lulu to finish up those lists today. Don't want the Christmas termagent breathing down my neck! Another funny thing you forgot...how even with lists...sometimes we don't get the one thing we really wanted (muffin tins!!). I'm just saying...


in a flurry of list making,
gert♥

just to clarify...

I just want everyone to know beyond a shadow of a doubt that the xmas lists were intended to be funny. I don't want anyone sending child protective services after either hildi or I! So for the record:



We do not encourage our children to:

• drink


• smoke


• make career choices which involve poles


• play with weapons of mass destruction


• overindulge in either frozen burritos or pop tarts (regardless of flavor)


• abuse prescription drugs


• engage in violent behavior


• eat copious amounts of candy corn


• view porn or pose for porn


• do anything for which they might need an alibi

There I think that covers it. Hope that sets your mind at ease dear reader.

much relieved,

gert♥