Saturday, September 25, 2010

Healthy "drinking"

Vodka & grapefruit juice? Why that almost sounds healthy for you! As does my preference for vodka and tomato juice. I mean any drink with juice in it can't be that bad, right? Sometimes I even eat the celery that comes with mine. That's like two vegetable servings in one drink. Kudos to me!

Actually, I've seen the results of the breathing machine and they have had a most miraculous effect on your mother. She was awake, reasonably coherent and pleasant to be around. I hope you were sitting down for that! Maybe that quack they call a doctor had the right of it this time. The CPAP machine seems to have made a huge difference for her. Wouldn't it be great to have our mother back?? I mean the one that did crazy (but fun) things with us, like hiking to the library in a snowstorm/blackout so we could get books by flashlight. I've been missing that woman for a long time. And while the hope that someone close to that returns to us is still fragile, it's there. We shall see.

So by this time next week...I will be at your house and we will have survived a Friday night football game at Valley View. I love high school football games! And does yours have a mouth watering array of food? Ours always had tacos in a bag, ribeye sandwiches and the cheerleaders did those fried donuts. You can hear your arteries screaming as you eat them, but the roar of the crowd usually drowns them out.

Well, I've got articles to write and a nap to take, a very very good book to read and finishing an editing project. So I will bid you adieu for now. Speaking of books...you should probably get on doing a review on Booknotes. ;]

Chaos & family,
Gert♥

Thursday, September 23, 2010

Vodka!! Cures the world!

My dear Gert, you have nothing to fret about. If you'll recall our esteemed matriarch started the down hill slide before she reached your age. Even if your a late bloomer or the genes for this are weakened and start later with offspring, we are entirely different human beings. There will be no turning to pills or television. There will be no hiding in our rooms all day. As you said, and in my case as well, the children we have begotten just wouldn't hear of it. Besides that fact I can assure you that our answer to the mind boggling issues that grip our mother would be and have been vastly different.
Vodka! Yes, vodka my dear! Why, isn't that the answer to all life's ugly little turns? I do believe I would much rather be soused than doped. Being a happy drunk is indeed more fun than a negative drugy! I think vodka intake is easier to control than pills. Plus I have discovered I can accomplish all sorts of feats when consuming vodka and grapefruit juice. Truly, I am a wicked competitor! Also I think pretty highly of myself when I imbibe. Good for the self esteem you know.
Never fear m'dear, we shall overcome! And our families will only appreciate more our spectacular repartee!


Haunted things and Football games, with Vodka! Hildi

Monday, September 20, 2010

Maybe we're adopted...

Oh dear Hildi! In a little over a week, I'll be at your house! Woot! Let's here it for Friday night football games and haunted houses! I can't wait. But first I have to get through the rest of this very busy week, a smooshie boobie xray, and the 5 hour drive with your parents. Which brings me to the point of this missive.

What the hell is wrong with her?? And how do we make it different? How on earth do you get to that point and be comfortable with it? How do you manage to become so disagreeable that no one wants to be around you anymore and not want to change?? How can TV viewing become the focus of your life? And why the hell don't they just get Dish Network and a freaking DVR?? There are days when I seriously worry about the genetic code that was donated to my DNA. Do you think it's catching? Are we inevitably going to wind up there some day? Please tell me that by the marvels of modern medical science we are not destined to go down that road. Though I know if I did, my kids would put me in a home so fast my head would spin. And I applaud them for it.

Whatever. I shall endeavor to be pleasant and take the high road. It will probably cause me to bite right through my tongue while holding back, but I shall persevere nonetheless.

You better have some stiff drinks on hand just in case though. I can endure almost anything with enough vodka on hand.

Cocktails & thinly veiled insults,
Gert♥