Saturday, September 25, 2010

Healthy "drinking"

Vodka & grapefruit juice? Why that almost sounds healthy for you! As does my preference for vodka and tomato juice. I mean any drink with juice in it can't be that bad, right? Sometimes I even eat the celery that comes with mine. That's like two vegetable servings in one drink. Kudos to me!

Actually, I've seen the results of the breathing machine and they have had a most miraculous effect on your mother. She was awake, reasonably coherent and pleasant to be around. I hope you were sitting down for that! Maybe that quack they call a doctor had the right of it this time. The CPAP machine seems to have made a huge difference for her. Wouldn't it be great to have our mother back?? I mean the one that did crazy (but fun) things with us, like hiking to the library in a snowstorm/blackout so we could get books by flashlight. I've been missing that woman for a long time. And while the hope that someone close to that returns to us is still fragile, it's there. We shall see.

So by this time next week...I will be at your house and we will have survived a Friday night football game at Valley View. I love high school football games! And does yours have a mouth watering array of food? Ours always had tacos in a bag, ribeye sandwiches and the cheerleaders did those fried donuts. You can hear your arteries screaming as you eat them, but the roar of the crowd usually drowns them out.

Well, I've got articles to write and a nap to take, a very very good book to read and finishing an editing project. So I will bid you adieu for now. Speaking of should probably get on doing a review on Booknotes. ;]

Chaos & family,

Thursday, September 23, 2010

Vodka!! Cures the world!

My dear Gert, you have nothing to fret about. If you'll recall our esteemed matriarch started the down hill slide before she reached your age. Even if your a late bloomer or the genes for this are weakened and start later with offspring, we are entirely different human beings. There will be no turning to pills or television. There will be no hiding in our rooms all day. As you said, and in my case as well, the children we have begotten just wouldn't hear of it. Besides that fact I can assure you that our answer to the mind boggling issues that grip our mother would be and have been vastly different.
Vodka! Yes, vodka my dear! Why, isn't that the answer to all life's ugly little turns? I do believe I would much rather be soused than doped. Being a happy drunk is indeed more fun than a negative drugy! I think vodka intake is easier to control than pills. Plus I have discovered I can accomplish all sorts of feats when consuming vodka and grapefruit juice. Truly, I am a wicked competitor! Also I think pretty highly of myself when I imbibe. Good for the self esteem you know.
Never fear m'dear, we shall overcome! And our families will only appreciate more our spectacular repartee!

Haunted things and Football games, with Vodka! Hildi

Monday, September 20, 2010

Maybe we're adopted...

Oh dear Hildi! In a little over a week, I'll be at your house! Woot! Let's here it for Friday night football games and haunted houses! I can't wait. But first I have to get through the rest of this very busy week, a smooshie boobie xray, and the 5 hour drive with your parents. Which brings me to the point of this missive.

What the hell is wrong with her?? And how do we make it different? How on earth do you get to that point and be comfortable with it? How do you manage to become so disagreeable that no one wants to be around you anymore and not want to change?? How can TV viewing become the focus of your life? And why the hell don't they just get Dish Network and a freaking DVR?? There are days when I seriously worry about the genetic code that was donated to my DNA. Do you think it's catching? Are we inevitably going to wind up there some day? Please tell me that by the marvels of modern medical science we are not destined to go down that road. Though I know if I did, my kids would put me in a home so fast my head would spin. And I applaud them for it.

Whatever. I shall endeavor to be pleasant and take the high road. It will probably cause me to bite right through my tongue while holding back, but I shall persevere nonetheless.

You better have some stiff drinks on hand just in case though. I can endure almost anything with enough vodka on hand.

Cocktails & thinly veiled insults,

Monday, July 26, 2010

*Le Sigh* (that's sigh in french)

It's one of those days where nothing is going right. You know the ones I'm talking about?? And I can tell myself that part of it is the PMS hormones raging through my body currently but I can't keep myself from feeling it.

I suppose I get myself into these situations. Maybe I expect too much of people. I hold everyone up to the standards that I try to achieve and invariably I get let down. My personal philosophy is to try to learn something from every experience, but especially the bad ones. I mean if you don't, what are you left with? If you don't at least take away a lesson, then all you've had is some bad luck and suckiness. And if you take away the lesson, what's the point in not putting it into practice? I do. And yet, I guess others don't. And maybe it's unfair of me to expect them too.

Whoever it was that said "the more things change, the more things stay the same" sure had the right of it. I wonder if they'd been recently let down too? I know this is probably the most confusing post ever, but I had to get that out.

Going to Springfield this evening, after my knee MRI. We're having dinner with the 'rents at Texas Roadhouse and picking up CJ for a couple of days. Pretty excited about that!

And yes, we do have pretty good kids. =]

big heartfelt sighs,

Friday, July 23, 2010

Ah, Kids!

I seem to have more children than I originally started out with! Maybe you'd like to trade? I could use the kind that can get their own damn juice and snacks! I could also use the kind that don't whine to me every twenty minutes of the day that they're bored! Really? Bored? That's funny,(not anymore)because I thought you had a brand new Wii, new bikes and more toys than some small European countries! It's at this point in the tirade in my mind that I want to Yell about how rough we had it as children. You know,"Up a hill both ways and all)! Then it hits me what a great time I had being a kid and playing with my friends. Our imaginations used to take us on some wild adventures! I wonder why kids are so different today and I suppose it's the aforementioned games and toys that have culminated in the demise of wondrous imaginings and innocent play. Well. Guess I'll go get that juice and take a shot of guilt while I'm at it!
The truth is no matter what faults our children have, we are partly to blame for some of them. Of course age and faze factor in as well. Your teenagers are a tiny bit selfish here and there. My younger ones expect to be entertained by something or someone. Did we not contribute by always doing for them? Even when perhaps they should have done for themselves? Yes, we did. That's what mommies do. The good part is, that all of them are actually great kids! They are usually caring, trustworthy, responsible and smart. Yes, they have their moments, but I would worry if they didn't. I've found that good kids are kind of hard to come by these days. So after my shot of guilt( and kicking them out the door to play) I shall have a glass of "Pat on the back". You should too!

A little buzzy after all that, Hildi

Saturday, July 17, 2010

I was excited for what exactly??

You know how we always talk about how we wait for our husbands to come home from work, anticipate their arrival eagerly, and then within five minutes of them walking in the door..they say something dumb and you want them to leave again? Guess what? It works the same with kids!! I know, I was totally flabbergasted too. I was really looking forward to Lulu and Jethro coming home from camp last night. I couldn't wait to hear their camp stories and eat dinner together and just bask in our family togetherness. I really do miss them during the week. Bubba was home too. Finally, a family night. Sceech! Hold that thought. So the kids get here earlier than expected, and as you know, I was on the phone with you. I was sitting in the family room. Well, the next thing I know Jethro is drinking my drink and eating my pistachios. Then he downs his father's drink that is sitting on the bookcase. Then Bubba comes in and takes over the computer and they have a loud conversation while I'm trying to hear you. Then Lulu storms in with a piece of mail demanding to know why she got it as though it's my fault somehow?! Sweet bejeezus! I got up, gave them all dirty looks and locked myself in my bathroom so we could continue our conversation. Unbelievable. So much for my family togetherness.

I'd love to say it got better from there but not so much. Bubba left while I was in the bathroom and missed dinner. The other two were just sassy all night (camp always does this to them). At one point, I looked at Larry and mouthed silently "Is is Sunday yet?" I feel lucky to have survived the night without killing anyone. Now I guess I have to get through today. And the mountain of stinky laundry they brought with them. Oh joy.

We were watching a movie the other night and the teenage son in it screamed at his mother "I can't wait to get the bleep out of here!" I looked at Larry and said "Isn't that when parents want to look at their kids and go 'you and me both brat, you and me both'?" While my kids have never actually said those words, they have joked about how they think I want them to live with me forever. WTF? Are they crazy?! Apparently they don't realize that I have a life independent of them and that I really value my privacy and quiet time. I guess it will come as a shock to them to find out that the last few weeks, their Dad and I have percolated along just fine. Quite well in fact.

Ah well, someday they'll get it I guess.

about to tear my hair out,

Saturday, March 13, 2010

I need a vacation from my kids!

Even slaves get their own quarters! I need a place in this house of my own. Even the bathroom isn't safe. I really need some time for me. We had one of the worst weeks ever this last week. Spring fever? Cabin fever? Or mommy's a marshmallow and now I'm paying for it? I don't know. Whatever the reason my children decided to push the final button and blow-up the damn camel, straw and all. It culminated in them not picking up. They had an hour and a half and CHOSE not to. I went up-stairs to check and the next thing I know I'm by myself, red in the face and ranting like a lunatic. At some point Jerome came home and heard me up there yelling. He later admitted to thoughts of just slipping out the door before he was noticed. Needless to say there was a bigger mess then before and two little liars with their ears ringing. I have let them get away with soo much that now they don't listen at all. They are grounded from; computer, leapster 2, Dsi, x-box, and game-cube.
What really stinks in this whole mess is the fact that I thought my oldest and I had such a great relationship. (The little one is the baby and not to the same place yet.) We get along great, we talk about everything that goes on with her. She's helpful and trustworthy. Now it's like I have a stranger in my house. She's being so selfish I can hardly look at her. Today she actually told me that it's my fault and all I do is yell at her for the last few days. I do. And that sucks worse. I hate bitching at my kids. I hate taking things away from them. And I hate not feeling close anymore. What is a mom to do? I can't go back to how it was until she straitens up. Do they ever realize how much you do for them? Will she ever realize that she's the one punishing us both? The four-year-old doesn't have a clue as to why mommy and sissy aren't getting along and it's putting a strain on their relationship too.
Part of me wants to just start acting like everything is fine so we can go back to the way things were. The other part just wants to go somewhere and crack open a bottle of wine and have a lovely evening! Ok, now both parts are together and rooting for the wine.

Cheers and tears! Hildi.

Tuesday, March 9, 2010

You can't quit silly, slaves have to be sold...

At least that's how I feel some times. As unappreciated and stuck as a slave. Oh not usually. Usually my family is pretty good. But there are some days when it feels like I'm plugging away here all on my own. The only member putting in any cohesive effort. Everyone else seems content to go on with things and let the pieces fall where they will. Simply because they know I'll come behind, sweep up the pieces and put them back in the puzzle where they belong. I didn't threaten to quit my job, but I did threaten to quit caring about the quality of my work.

I think part of it is the dreary time of year. Part of it is the vacation let down. Part of it is that this is the time of year my hubby has to start focusing on getting the camp ready for summer and he kind of checks out of the rest of his life. It's all work work work. Usually it's not a bother because I just focus more on the kids. This year the kids all have their own focus. With so much going on for them, they aren't even around to help out much. And yes, I do know that the house won't fall down if I get behind in the laundry or cleaning. I won't get the "worst mother" award if I don't cook every night or the beds aren't made. But it matters to me. And since the chronic illness showed up, there are some days it just ain't happening. This makes me cranky. Not having someone to pick up the slack makes me crankier.

Case in point for our recent strife...Larry had to go to Ranger Rendezvous last week. It's a three day conference/training for the rangers. They go over new camp standards, ask each other questions, attend some classes (Larry taught a welding one) and generally get each other pumped up for the coming summer. They are held in different areas and sometimes he's gone four days, sometimes two. This year he went to St. Joe, Missouri. They left Tuesday morning and got back Thursday evening. Thursday was the day that Lulu had her appointment in St. Louis so she and I hit the Galleria Mall after spending three hours at the doctors. Larry calls me at 6.

Larry: Where are you?

Me: St. Louis. Remember?

Larry: Yeah. I just thought you'd be home by now.

Me: Well it was a long day, we decided to hit the mall for some girly fun.

Larry: Oh. Well where's Jethro?

Me: It's Thursday night. He's at his CAP meeting. (Duh. Happens every Thursday night)

Larry: Oh.

Me: There's plenty of food for your dinner. I'll call you when we are on our way home. Love you. Bye.

Obviously he thought he should receive a huge welcome back. And was disappointed no one was home to greet him. Later he stated that I didn't even miss him. I told him sure I did, I had to make my own coffee in the morning! (I tease). In truth, really he wasn't even gone long enough to miss. Two nights and I was busy all three days. I'm not sure what he expected. Later we had this conversation~

Larry: Did you even miss me?

Me: Of course I did. You just weren't gone very long. And I was busy the whole time.

Larry: Well I didn't get much of a welcome home.

Me: Well I didn't get much of a good-bye. Remember how you called me after your meeting Monday night to tell me you had to go to C's house to go over that proposal when we both knew you were really going to have a couple of beers with the guys? The night before you left, when you might have wanted to spend time with your wife?

Larry: I did need to go over that proposal.

Me: Really? It couldn't have waited for this weekend?

Larry: I didn't think about it.

Me: Story of my life. You can't expect me to keep putting effort in when you don't.

That completely illustrates my point. Why does it seem like I'm the only one trying? I've put too many damn years in to quit this one, I'm seeing it through to those golden years. But really? Couldn't I at least get a spontaneous dinner out once in a while?

men, can't live with 'em, can't shoot 'em,

Tuesday, March 2, 2010

Must be fairy dust?

I do not lie. Well, not about this one at least. We had no arguments. No fights. No hurt feelings. What the hell? I don't know about other married couples, but before we road trip or anyone comes to visit us, we make a deal not to fight. It's a little agreement I like to call the "Let's get along" pact. Usually it doesn't work. I mean come on. We're still us, only under traveling stress and cranky kid stress. Who wouldn't fight? This time those words were like magic. I think the road tragedy the first day actually helped. You know how some of us pull together when life dishes up something tragic. We even faced a bad directions crisis that first evening finding our hotel. We were a little short with each other during that, but when we were on the right road again all was forgotten and laughter was heard.
I would love to say it was because he wasn't whiny, or cranky, or demanding. I think that's true. However as it always takes two to argue I must have been even more perfect than usual. Ha ha! It had to be an effort on both our parts, but it didn't feel like it. It truly was a good time had by all. I always feel a little let down after company or vacations, but this time I think our getting along made coming home worse somehow. Seriously, we weren't back but a day when the nastiness began. We really have not been getting on very well this last week. Ok, before vacation we were having a lot of problems too. La de da! Life goes on. I have suggested counseling in the past and that was poo-pooed. I finally told him on Sunday morning before church( ok so I'm still a bitch sometimes) that I was done. I quit. Give me my last paycheck and hire a replacement, because I no work here no more.
I was really tired and pissed. He said he'd do anything to change my mind. Guess who's going to Ballroom Dancing lessons? Oh, I don't know if that's what it will be, but we will be doing something together to strengthen us. Because as serious as I was when I quit, I love that guy. He's the father of my babies and he loves me even when I'm at my worst.

Where's that damn fairy with the dust? Hildi.

Sunday, February 28, 2010

Really? I mean REALLY??!

Okay, so I obviously know that this was not the point of your post, but you and Jerome did not fight at all during your vacation?? Sorry, my mind just couldn't grasp this concept, like at all. Like I woke up in the night going "they didn't fight? what??". So you're definitely going to have to elaborate on that phenomenon. Enquiring minds want to know, yo.

I'm very sorry for that most traumatic sight on your way through NC. You know I absolutely bawled reading the blog. I'm the kind of person who has to turn off the TV or change channels when those darn RSPCA or Humane Society commercials come on. I would have a bazillion more cats and dogs and cougars if I had my way. Because eight cats and one dog is not enough when there are so many more who need love. Thankfully, I don't have the visual to go along with your story so I am not as traumatized. Larry wants to know why the hell Jerome didn't just tell you a lie so you didn't get so upset. It's for sure what he would have done with me. The rest of my family completely concurs.

I am very glad though that you guys also had a good time and are safe and sound. And that the 'rents made it back safe and sound. And that you blogged. And commented. Look at you rockin the blogland!

I think there's always a little letdown when you return from vacation. A little "hmph so this my life" kind of feeling. A few days of re-settling in. But life is quickly back to what passes for normal and it's time to anticipate the next adventure. Because girl, you are hooked now!

So I this the year you come to Illinois for Easter?

hugs & heartfelt understanding,

Friday, February 26, 2010

Back to the snow!

My family and I had such a good time on vacation, that I really didn't want to come home. Usually no matter where we go I am ready to come home. I miss the cats, my friends and my house. Not so this time. Was it the very cold weather I knew we were heading back to, or the fact that we( Jerome and I) didn't fight at all? I'm not sure it was either of those things completely. This time I just felt new. You might be thinking I've finally lost all the sandwiches in my picnic basket! Something inside me took a deep breath and woke up for the first time in a long time. No, I don't want to move to Myrtle Beach. Or even South Carolina in general. Lovely though it is. I think sometimes in life you just lust after a new and fresh beginning. Not without my family, but with them. My state is lovely also, and I truly like the town we live in. The surrounding area is full of things to see and do for all of us. This vacation reminded me of how much is OUT THERE. So many places to see outside my state.
I also learned that the beauty God laid down around us is tainted with death. The number of animals that lose their lives along our highways is staggering. What's worse is the ones that suffer. I witnessed something on the way to Ashville, NC that will stay with me throughout my days. We were just cresting one of the never-ending rises in the mountains, and there it was. A dog in the road. At first I didn't understand. I thought it was stuck in the middle of two lanes, because it was scared of traffic. As we passed I made a comment about how awful that was. My husband looked over at me and I caught the look in his eyes. I asked if the dog was ok. He said no. I started babbling about it just being frightened, but by then I new what horror I had witnessed and hadn't processed yet. He told me that it's lower half was not ok. I understood, but I fought it like you do with all tragic news. The kids were merrily going on about there movie and car games in the back and my husband was looking at me with sad, understanding eyes. On a sob, a very quiet sob, I asked if we could help it. He told me that he just didn't know who to call or exactly where we were. As I silently cried, my heart bleeding for this animal, I wanted to be mad at him. I was mad. How long had it been there like that? How many locals had just skirted around it? I was very mad. Mad at the injustice of it all. But I knew that he was feeling these things too and fighting his sorrow along with me. I must have cried for twenty minutes or more. It's always harder to stop when he takes my hand. The whole time I was quiet for my kids sake. There was no way I could expose them to that. The time will come soon enough when they face death and suffering in their lives. Could we have done something? I truly don't know. As if in punishment for not trying, that poor animal's face will be burned in my heart and mind forever.
I'm sorry for sharing this story. I have held onto it for almost two weeks now and I thought this might help take the edge off. I won't ever forget, but maybe it will fade around the edges.

Snow and sadness, Hildi.

Sunday, February 7, 2010

So says you...

I'm pretty sure my memories are more accurate. But we'll agree to disagree for now. I know poor little Pru was sick on Monday. And then Patience on Tuesday right? School phone call is what ended our chat, yes? I used to feel so bad when I had to pick one up from school sick. Like I should've known they were sick that morning and kept them home. The things we come up with to make ourselves feel guilty! As though motherhood doesn't involve enough guilt.

I'm so ready for vacation and then not ready for it. I seem to have caught the February "blahs". I just seem to be having trouble getting my act together. Part of it is the medicine seeming to lose it's effect and my health going downhill because of it. Some of it is just pure "blah". Right now, I should be packing for the trip and yet I can't get motivated. Which means tomorrow I'll be running around like a chicken with my head cut off before hopping in the car for a 16 hour jaunt with two teenagers. Oh my word! Look at what I've just said...truly, I think I've lost my mind. And if I haven't, I'm pretty sure somewhere in the next 48 hours it will fly the coop. At least if I make it to Myrtle sanity intact, I'll have a week to rejuvenate. That is if I can stop obsessing about all the things I should be doing back home.

If nothing else, there will be some delicious seafood to eat. And some sun to soak up. And did someone say shopping??! Now where did I put that checkbook...

Insane & (almost) on the road,

PS- see you in sunny South Carolina! Last one there is a rotten egg! Oh wait...that's going to be you. Haha! I win! =]

Tuesday, February 2, 2010

Ha! Lies!

Of course you would remember it that way. We younger siblings always get the "bratty-wrap". I seem to remember plenty of times you just felt the need to throw your weight around. Oh, the abuse my poor little body took! The only good that came from such confrontations is that I learned how to hit very hard. Too bad I no longer have anyone to hit. And it was a lid mark darling. Lid mark!
My addiction to the Internet only lasted a couple of months. Waiting for gratification has never appealed to me. I want my jollies now. Oh my, I am the little sister! Anyway I have finished all unread books in my house and I have not gotten another. Take that demons! Wish me good luck, and be prepared for nonsensical ramblings on this blog.
My youngest was sick yesterday, so today is my Monday. Hmmm. Where to start? Laundry, always a safe bet. Then the task of a whole-house clean. Gosh. Your right, Gert. Life without books is going to be super sweet! By the way, it's very unquiet in here!

Jammies and rubber gloves, Hildi

Sunday, January 31, 2010

Chapsticks don't have teeth...

Oh Hildi dear! I can't believe you are still pitching that story about the chapstick. I suppose you will tell that lie til the day you die. Face facts- you bit me on the ass. I had the teeth marks to prove it!! I can't believe you're still perpetuating that story about poking me. I think you've blocked the truth from your mind. Like a serial killer who blacks out and comes to with blood on his hands and no idea how it got there!

And frankly, I don't remember the tooth-paste incident. Therefore, it never happened. And if it must've deserved it. You were kind of a brat.

But I'm totally here for you with your addiction. I understand the lure of the printed word. Those books entice with their glossy covers and come hither synopses. Their pull is strong! And you think a page or two will suffice, but two hours later you come up for air only to find that the meatloaf is burned, your youngest has fallen asleep on the potty (waiting for you to wipe their bum) and your husband is due home any minute!! True story. But there is help girl. I'm a survivor. I limit my reading time to after I've crawled into bed. Or anytime I'm forced to wait in public (doctors office, DMV, killing time before picking up a kid). Or I'm done with all daily chores and manage to squeeze out a few minutes for myself. Which happens so infrequently I probably didn't even need to mention it.

Now, if I could just get a handle on my internet addiction...facebook, bejewelled, blogging, much to do, so little time.

trading one for the other,

Saturday, January 30, 2010


Hello. My name is Hildi and I'm an addict. I have been an addict for about six years now. It has progressively taken over my life. I have begun to put myself in danger by scoring at such places as the "downtown" library and Half Priced Books! Of course I go in disguise so that no one will recognize me, but I know I am courting scandal should this happen. As of today I have gone through eight books in two weeks, not including Desperation, by Stephen King.
The laundry needs folding, the kitchen needs mopping and really I could use a little fresh air. So, followers and family and Gert, I shall make you a promise. From this moment on; I will not read more than half a book a day[no more than 200 pages], I will take care of my responsibilities first, and I will put said book down at four o'clock every day. My new motto is; Live and love outside the pages!
You know, I really do think I have a slightly addictive personality. Years ago it was an illegal substance, then it was spirits{the liquid kind}, going out, and now reading. Why, oh why, can't it be something productive like cleaning or working? Heck I'd even take exercising. Or not! Ah well, such is life. No I'm not going to mention the smokes, Gert. They don't interfere at all with my reading. I mean life.
By the way. If you tell naughty things on me I will be forced to return the favor. Don't forget the time you told our parents I bit you on the butt and all I really did was poke you with my chap-stick! Or how about the time you punched me really hard in the tummy while we were brushing our teeth, and I nearly choked on tooth-paste! Oh yes sister-dear, I will spill it all. Mooohaha!

Love and getting clean, HIldi!

Monday, January 25, 2010

Hildi!!! Get your nose out of that book and blog already!


I'm seriously thinking of disowning you. I know I bought you books for your birthday, but you need to put down the book slowly and back away and nobody gets hurt!! I mean it. For serious. Remember that time you threw a porcelain hair brush at me and I ducked and it left a nick in the wall? Or what about the time you spit your grape bubble gum in the back of my hair and mom had to cut it out? And I already had a ridiculous haircut to begin with? I could go on, you know. But I'll stop here...but only if you start blogging again. Don't make me tell people where the bodies are buried. And I know that you know that I know that...oh dear, I lost track. Anyway, just freakin blog. Or I'm not coming to visit you ever again. Or bringing you books. Or pistachios.

I mean, we have followers!! You owe them something. If you won't do it for it for them. For the love of Bob, Hildi! Have a heart! We also have an award to pick up at Heather's place. So put down the book, brush your hair, and kick the kids off the computer. Pull yourself together girl and write an acceptance speech.

your loving but desperate sister,

PS~ If you don't blog back I'm going to tell people that you're in rehab. It won't be true of course (they don't make rehab for book addicts, duh) but people will believe me. And then you'll be sorry.

Sunday, January 10, 2010

Because I said so...that's why...

Okay, so I did it. I uttered those words that I'd promised myself absolutely eons ago when I was young that I would never ever ever say. Because really? It's not a reason. It's a justification. It's an abuse of power. It's just wrong. And frustrating if you're on the receiving end. And up to this point in my parenting career, I have rarely ever fallen back on this once famous stand-by.

So picture me the other night walking into my kitchen to start preparing dinner (because heaven forbid anyone else do it) and I notice that the sink is full of dishes. So call me OCD, call me weird, whatever, I cannot cook in a kitchen where there are already dirty dishes hiding the sink. So I called for Jethro to come unload the dishwasher so that I could reload before I started cooking. I also realize that the venison steaks I removed from the freezer have not thawed out. Not. one. bit.

I take them in hand to Larry, who's sitting in his office.

Me: These steaks are rock hard!! They didn't thaw out at all. They've been out all day!! What does this say about the temperature in this house??

Larry: (takes the wrapped bundle of steaks from my outstretched hand) um. Well this corners a little squishy.

Me: oh well lovely. I'll just cut off that corner and serve it to you. Because that's going to feed us all!

Jethro: maybe someone should just go get a pizza.

Me: I told you I have no money. (I may or may not have shrieked this)

Jethro: okay, calm down. (backing away with his hands out as though I'm a panther about to pounce)

Me: (calmer) No. You don't understand. Usually when I say I have no money, I mean I just don't want to spend what I have. This time I literally have no money. So I have to cook. I guess I'll try defrosting them in the microwave.

So I throw the package in the microwave and hit defrost. It's then that I notice that the bottom cabinet doors are half shut. I go to try and shut them. No deal. The pots, pans, roasters, cake pans and cookie sheets are wedged in there in such a way that the cabinet doors cannot shut. Why am I the only one who finds this unacceptable? When Larry or Jethro put dishes away they just shove them in and hope the door shuts. As I'm already slightly pissy (definitely pms-ing) this just really chaps my hide. So I say to Jethro~

Me: For the love of Bob!! Could you not at least put the dishes away so the cabinet closes?

Jethro: No. Because some moron dug out the big roaster which he then did not even use and now nothing fits in there right.

Me: Um so maybe you could rearrange things? (Is this rocket science? Because it seems obvious to me!)

Jethro: Right now?! While you're trying to cook?

Me: Yes! It's tipping my scales towards crazy and I really want it resolved.

Jethro: Seriously? Right now you want me to drag out all the pans, make a huge mess and rearrange them?

Me: (sighing inwardly) No. Oh hell no! Why would I ask you or your father to correct anything you've done just to suit me? What am I thinking?

Jethro: I just don't see why it's such a big deal and has to be done right now.

Me: (thinking to myself Because it's important to me But then I open my mouth and out they come, those dreaded words...) Because I said so, that's why

To set the record straight...Jethro did not then instantly snap to attention and do what I'd ask. He gave me the "you've finally lost it look" and I told him to just go, do whatever it was he'd been doing. Then I sat on the floor and rearranged my cabinet. Then I shut the cabinet doors. And yes, I felt better. Oh, and the steaks defrosted enough to cook and dinner was delish.

Really?! Is it just me?