Hildi!!! Get your nose out of that book and blog already!

Hildi,

I'm seriously thinking of disowning you. I know I bought you books for your birthday, but you need to put down the book slowly and back away and nobody gets hurt!! I mean it. For serious. Remember that time you threw a porcelain hair brush at me and I ducked and it left a nick in the wall? Or what about the time you spit your grape bubble gum in the back of my hair and mom had to cut it out? And I already had a ridiculous haircut to begin with? I could go on, you know. But I'll stop here...but only if you start blogging again. Don't make me tell people where the bodies are buried. And I know that you know that I know that...oh dear, I lost track. Anyway, just freakin blog. Or I'm not coming to visit you ever again. Or bringing you books. Or pistachios.

I mean, we have followers!! You owe them something. If you won't do it for me...do it for them. For the love of Bob, Hildi! Have a heart! We also have an award to pick up at Heather's place. So put down the book, brush your hair, and kick the kids off the computer. Pull yourself together girl and write an acceptance speech.

your loving but desperate sister,
♥Gert

PS~ If you don't blog back I'm going to tell people that you're in rehab. It won't be true of course (they don't make rehab for book addicts, duh) but people will believe me. And then you'll be sorry.