Wednesday, October 21, 2009

Hildi's gone AWOL..

Seriously Hildi, where the heck are you? You haven't even answered texts lately. I know better then to call because you don't pick up unless you think it's an emergency. If I thought Jerome had the stomach for it, I might be worried he'd hacked you to pieces and hid you in the crawlspace.

Anywho, I'm taking your turn again because I need to vent. Big time. After cleaning up my house yet again, I am fed up. So this conversation ensues...

Me: So, I realize that because I do not work outside the home, the house is my responsibility. However, I'm pretty sure that does not give you or the boys leave to become the messiest people on the planet. I checked the fine print of the contract. And if you added a codicil you have to inform my lawyer and he swears to have no knowledge of one so I don't know what you're thinking but it won't hold up in court.

Larry: laughing (at me I'm sure). I don't think I'm the messiest person on the planet.

Me: Really? Really? Are you kidding me? You set the empty kool-aid pitcher on the counter by the dishpan and it had red kool-aid all over the bottom. I just spent twenty minutes scrubbing the stain off the counter. Not to mention that the dishpan was full of un-rinsed dishes (I hate un-rinsed dishes). Why? Why?

Larry: Um. Because I'm a moron? (now the first time he used this defense, I have to admit it was pretty funny and I laughed. And agreed with him, because he said it not me.)

Me: That excuse is really wearing thin. Even morons can learn. And oddly enough, I firmly believe we've had this conversation before. And it seems to do no good whatsoever. So really, I don't know why I'm wasting my breath.

Larry: Ummm. (Yeah, I know he has no clue what to say here.) Sorry?

Me: Whatever. But just so you know...I'm not happy. And all this cleaning and picking up after you and the boys is seriously cutting into all my writing time.

Larry: Well, it would be different if you were getting paid for that writing.

Me: Really? And how would it be different? Hmmmm? Would you be less messy? No. I think not. The only way it would be different is maybe I could afford a maid.

Larry: Of course when you right a blockbuster best seller and become rich and famous you'll be able to afford a maid.

Me: You know, I don't even care if I'm rich and famous anymore. I'd settle for published and able to pay the bills. My dreams have seriously tanked. It's like for every year I get older, my dreams get closer to the floor. Kind of like my boobs.

At which point he actually chuckled out loud. In case you don't read my other blog, this is unusual. Mostly anymore he just looks at me like I've lost my mind. Unfortunately, the dream thing is true. They tell you to reach for the stars but right now I'd settle for the top shelf. *sigh*

there's laundry calling my name,


  1. OMG, that was hilarious! Sorry I know it was a vent, I shouldn't be laughing.

    Some things just refused to sink in to stubborn minds. Better luck next time, you know there will be one.

  2. Couple of things here, Gert:
    1) You are a great story teller
    2) As you know, I do read your other blog
    3) while this was well written & funny -
    4) it pains me to hear you lower your dreams ...

    Reach - damn it ... you can do it!!!

  3. Heather~ Thanks. It was a vent but it was also humorous. Because really, if I didn't laugh I'd cry. And indeed, there will be more than one next time! Lol.

    Danica~ Aw, thanks. I will keep reaching I just no longer feel the need to be the next Stephen King. I think as you mature, the need for fame dissapates. I'd still take the fortune though! Lol. Thank you for your support and encouragement. =]



Leave us your two cents worth~