So I found Hildi!!

I know you all were worried, because I totally was! Well it turns out that once again, illness rears it's ugly head! Poor little Patience caught a nasty bug that aggravated her asthma and she ended up in the hospital. Poor Patience! And poor Hildi!! But Patience is much recovered and Hildi has managed to get some sleep. But not enough to blog yet. She also now has the added (but much welcome) distraction of my parents visiting. So we will hopefully have the pleasure of her blogging again next week. To fill in the time...

So on Wednesday, I finally convinced Jethro to let me take him to the doctor. He'd been coughing for two weeks solid and I was ready to kill him, I mean concerned for him. He hadn't been running a fever really and other than the cough and a headache, didn't feel too badly. But it was time. His cough had turned into that cough. What is known at my house as the "pneumonia" cough. And sadly, we've had it enough at our house that even Captain Oblivious, otherwise known as Larry, can recognize it. Sunday he was all "are you ever going to take that kid to the doctor? Sounds like he has pneumonia." Thank you Larry for your brilliant observation. I know!! But convincing a sixteen year old boy to go to the doctor when he doesn't feel bad is like trying to convince a chicken to lay a golden egg. It's a lesson in futility. Finally I lured him in with promise of lunch at Village Inn (he can always be bribed with food!). So Wednesday rolls around and we head to the clinic in town.

The place is packed. Seriously, we had to park forever away. But as we're walking down the sidewalk, this little old guy hears Jethro coughing (I do have to say it sounds like he has Ebola, or heaven forbid, Swine Flu). Apparently, little old dude thinks so too, because he begins to hurry toward the door, looking back over his shoulder at us the whole time. Desperately trying to avoid coming close to Jethro. I whisper to Jethro, who's looking down and missing the whole thing, "that guy thinks you have swine flu...he's trying to get away from you." Jethro looks up, and us being us, we start moving faster. Little old dude increases his pace and I start giggling. The kicker? He has to pass right by a little kid with a face mask on, who obviously really does have swine flu. Hahaha.

Once inside, we check in and Jethro begins trying not to cough because he doesn't want them to make him wear a face mask. Although, every time he does cough, people stare. My my my, what a panic this pandemic has caused. Well, I'm up first for the doctor. Normal routine visit, or so I thought. I get in and the nurse does her thing and lo and behold! His scale says I've lost 7 pounds! Now, I'm pretty sure his scale is off because I don't think that's true, but I keep my mouth shut because I'm basking in the praise. "Great job Gert!". Riiiiggghhht. Like I've done anything different lately. Except maybe get so caught up in writing my blog that I miss a meal. That actually does happen, much to Jethro's dismay. Then we discuss medication and he adds another one. Joy. I feel like a pharmacy. Then I mention the chest pains I had that freaked the kids out. He asks if I went to the ER. Um...no...I was too tired. I just went home to bed. He sighs and shakes his head. Then asks more questions. I tell him we were out running errands all day that day and my chest starting hurting. Yes, sitting down and resting made it go away. So he says "so exercise makes it worse" and I say "um, well I wouldn't call what I do exercise, but yes, being busy makes it worse." So now I have to have a stress test on Wednesday. I'm freakin thrilled.

Then we go down to Jethro's doctor. Jethro and his doctor have a unique relationship. They give each other loads of crap constantly. It's really a battle to see who can one up the other. She comes into the office and it goes like this~

Dr.: Oh. It's you.

Jethro: Yep. Lucky you.

Dr.: (reading chart) cough, congestion, headache times two weeks. wow. same old stuff. so boring. don't you ever want to be original. Like maybe your big toe could rot and fall off.

Jethro: I like my toes.

Dr.: Fine, well I'm going to have to take gallons of blood today.

Jethro: That's cool. I'm a cutter so it really doesn't bother me. *the Dr. starts giggling* Besides it gives me a chance to steal some dirty needles for my heroin habit.

Dr.: *recovering* Oh. Well my bin looks pretty full. Want me to get the key and pop it open and you can have all you want?

Jethro: that'd be sweet.

They continue in this manner. He hops on the table, she examines him, he starts laughing when she tries to feel his lymph nodes (because he is waaaay ticklish). Finally she sighs loudly and says "well we could do a blood test, but we all know he's got walking pneumonia. Again." So she prescribes the antibiotic and cough syrup and off we go. To Village Inn of course. Because even sick, he has the appetite of a horse. Besides, it was free slice Wednesday!!

swine flu & sarcasm,
♥Gert

PS- Happy Halloween!