I feel you're pain!

Hildi,

You are always welcome to go out of turn! Especially when you need to vent. And you are right about Jerome. I was the recipient of some of his help just last evening. Granted it was only via phone but I was grateful to have his expertise to call on. That compassionate nature is part of why you love him. I know this well because as I'm sure you've noticed...Larry is exactly the same way. Anyone needs anything...he's your guy. And definately he has come to my rescue a time or two but it does have to be a true "situation" I find myself in. On an everyday basis...I may as well be a single mom. Don't you recall the conversation we had just monday (my birthday) after I wrote that glowing blog about him? HA! As I said that day (and reiterated for him today) if it's in the house it's my problem and he doesn't even notice. Why are they this way you ask? I have a couple theories...the first is that it's because we're more then competent. Yeah, I know...that sounds like a good thing. Not so my dear. We've been taking care of the kid stuff, house stuff, them for so long and so well...they forget that they are supposed to be a partner in all this. To support this theory I have comments from Larry..."But if we were all as good as you, you wouldn't be so special." Believe it or not, that was not sarcasm. He honestly means it. Or another favorite..."But you're so good at it!". It being taking care of everything! Gah! And honestly...I know I'm guilty of it too...we begin to take for granted our partner. I put Larry on hold for other things that I deem more important all the time...knowing he'll still be there when I get back to him. And then it leads to his..."well you never want to do anything with me anyway so I figured you wouldn't care" (petulant, huh?). So I don't know what the cure is, but it seems it's a vicious cycle. I guess maybe communicating your feelings is the only thing that helps. Let him know you're feeling neglected and misused. He may fuss back at you, but at least it will give him something to think about. I offer Larry & my text conversation from my bday:

Larry:I love u and im sorry i upset u what can i do to make your birthday better

Me: Stop being such an oafish lout. Stop using the front door (because the christmas tree blocks it and he was knocking ornaments off the tree!!!). Pay more attention to stuff. Be a partner not just one more kid for me to take care of!

Larry:That's alot for one day im sorry im trying.

Me: Well since i ask for that every year i won't hold my breath. Ok?

Larry:Did you want to do something together today us or the family

Me: Like what?

Larry: I don't know. Movie game cage fight?

Haha! The point is he's a big oafish lout but he doesn't always mean to be. And neither does Jerome. Meanwhile...I appreciate you! Sometimes it helps to know that at least someone does!

love & life,
gert♥

Do I matter?

Gert,

I know it's actually your turn to blog, but I need to vent. As you know my husband is the kind of guy who would give you the shirt off his back if you needed it. He always rushes to help friends and family who ask for it. If your moving, you can count on him. Car trouble? Jerome is on his way. Phones, computers, anything electronic, and he's your guy. The man even helps my friends with anything they need it from him. And believe me some of them have asked a lot from us both. When he's done fixing the problem he smiles and waves and rides into the sunset on his trusty steed. Guess who's always left standing in the dark when the sun goes with him.

I honestly love him for the way he cares about people. And his readiness to help those that require his skills. I just don't know why I never receive his aid. Trust me I put the signal in the sky all the time! I have no doubt that he would save me from peril, but why should that be the only time. It's not even his help that I'm looking for the most. I'd just like to feel like I matter more then all the others. I don't need more money. I really don't need more material things. What I desperately want is to be important to him.

Tonight he told me he would be home at 5:20. Then he scheduled an appointment with a gentlemen for 5:30. Yes I know it's work and he's providing for us. Blah, blah, blah! He will be there tomorrow till 6:00. And guess what? Work isn't going anywhere for now. No difficulties on that front. Instead of calling to let me know, he texted me to complain about a friend of his father's. I of course said poop on the man, he doesn't deserve your help anyway. Then I got the, " Oh by the way....I'm not gonna make it!" No there was no special reason for him to come home at that time. Other than he told me he would.I want to matter enough to have him follow through with what he tells ME. Poop on you too Jerome. Fold your own damn laundry!

Love! Just not for me! Hildi

Oh, the gray hairs!

Gert,

I must admit from the picture you sent me, your hair looks great! Isn't it always that much better when you get such a fabulous price to with it? I love a good deal. There is nothing better to make you feel sassy and confident, then getting your hair done. That's probably why most places charge so much. They know what it does for us. I tell ya a new hair-do and a pedicure can damn near make all your problems fade away. Ok, this time of year a facial or massage might be required.


I feel good about the finger foods for Christmas. It will be a very casual, easy evening. I think we will all have more time for talking and spending time together. Plus mom won't have to cook the entire day before. I'm still in shock that others agreed with me. Maybe that's just the baby-sister-chip on my shoulder talking! Just kidding! I think I shed that with the second child.

Are any of us where we wanted to be? In certain instances, yes. I too am ever so grateful for the time I get to spend with my children. While they are still children. I am slightly nervous and anticipatory about starting my career when I am thirty-four. But at the same time I think a lot of people in their mid to late thirties are restless in the careers they've chosen anyway. It will be like a second chapter to an already pretty great life. I'll be ready for something that is all mine. Maybe my children and I can get even closer, since the field I've chosen happens to be in skin and make-up! Boy am I glad I have two little ladies. I know that you will be published. It may not be until your forty-two, but it will be. And look at all the experience you've acquired by being a mom for so long. You really could write on any number of topics. For instance; Autism, parenting, cooking, budgeting, children's stories, and romance from all that we've read. Heck, real life country style could be good for you. Not every lady knows about that.

Did you say spirits? Are we staying the night? Just kidding. Maybe just a glass or twelve. Speaking of drinking my stress away. I have a baby shower for a teacher to plan for Friday. A house to clean before Tuesday of next week.(Not easy with a three-year-old stuck to my leg, saying she's lonely.) Presents for my family, his dad's side of family and his mom's side of family by Sunday. A dish from Chile due on Thursday, along with traditional costume. Gift exchange and book recovery for Wednesday night with friends. Oh yes, packing and laundry for four before we leave next week. Hahahahahh! I gotta go!



Love and polished toes& pampering! Hildi

Days of no small importance...

Happy Birthday to me! Boy do I feel old! Actually, not too much. I think next year being the big 4-0 will hit me way harder. I'm just really not where I wanted to be at this age in terms of accomplishments. I wanted to be a published author by now. I wanted to have been interviewed by Oprah. I wanted to own a big house. And I wanted to have ten kids. Okay...so that last one is a little crazy. But I probably would have had more then just the three if Larry had been willing. And the others? Well I guess they could still happen but probably not by next year. But as I look back reflectively today...I'm okay with where I am. I'm thankful for the life I do have and wouldn't give up any of it to have the other things. And I guess that's what it's about really...is the choices you make along the way. I gave up the career which was awesome but hectic with way too much travel to stay home with the kids. And sure some days I wish I was putting on a skirt and heels and heading off to my office where my secretary would have my coffee waiting...or waking up in the Hilton in Springfield, watching the people scurry to the capital and knowing I had some lobbying to do or lunch with a representative or senator. Okay...not the lobbying at the building so much...because those other lobbyists are mean! Anyway...some days I miss it...but the amount and quality of the time I got to spend with my kids over the years is worth way more to me. Especially as I see them growing up and getting ready to leave the nest. Time goes so quickly that I'm glad I got to store up plenty of memories. It was for sure worth it. And Larry? Well I'm a pretty lucky girl to have him too. Could have maybe traded up a time or too for a guy with money & a big house, but nobody could love me or his kids as much as he does. That's for sure. Besides, the big lout needs me. And not owning a house because one is provided by his job is okay. I love this house, I love living way out here in the country, and I love the land. I don't think I could ever live in town again. So it's all good!


I'm so proud of Patience for the last story you put on here...go girl! That is a valuable lesson to have learned at such a young age. And kudos to both of us for raising kids with big hearts and compassion. That's something else I'm thankful for! Plus I got my hair done on Friday morning...and I LOOOOVVVVEEE it. Makes me feel so much better. Then at the Xmas party Friday night, new people I met couldn't believe I was old enough to have teenagers. Go me. Take that gray hairs! I didn't tell them that I have this theory that chubby people have less wrinkles...therefore appearing younger....haha!

Oh....and....you get your wish. Dad backed you on it and so did Larry. Although, I had to promise Lulu and Jethro I'd still make them a turkey dinner sometime soon...we are not having a traditional Christmas dinner. I'm going with finger foods. I'm telling everyone to bring an appetizer and a desert. No big sit around the table and stuff yourself dinner. Just grazing as you go. Sound better? Any requests? I've been pouring over my cookbooks for days now deciding what to wow my company with. =] And you know what goes well with appetizers? That's right- cocktails! Woo-hoo!

love & finger foods & Christmas "spirits",
gert♥

Everything is better in heels!

Gert,

Those aspirations appeared after the first child was born and I had to learn how to do everything. I have noticed that not only does my husband enjoy the heels, but I feel very girly wearing them. I also vacuum in new high heels so I can break them in. Boy do I look sexy in my own set of baggy pants, t-shirt, and spanking new heels. Pony tail? Only if my hair is long enough.

I am in full agreement on the gender of the holiday-dishes clean-up crew. No I do not like turkey, but as you know mom always makes a ham for me and the big eaters.( All the guys.) I really was thinking of you. Not to worry I shan't let it become a habit. Next year Christmas is at my house for everyone who can come. That means folks in my home state and yours. I have a little surprise for you and your ever traditional cohort mother. I will be having a TRADITIONAL Irish dinner. And that is all I have to say on the matter.


I must tell you about my oldest daughter's day. It started at seven-thirty this morning. I got her cleaned and ready to be picked up at eight-thirty by Grandma Ali. From our house they proceeded to an assisted living facility to sing carols, pass out stuffed animals and little gifts. She volunteered to stay for lunch so that she could pass out roles in the cafeteria. Not only did she treat everyone with respect and politeness, she also learned a valuable lesson. One woman kissed her on her forehead and said " Bless you". I received a full report from her Grandma when they returned and it was obvious that something special happened today. After her Grandma left we had a chat about today and she told me that it was a great time and she wants to go back. I was not surprised by her good behavior. Even though she can be a hand full at times, she has a big heart and understood going in that these people deserve our respect and caring. What surprised me, was that I offered a reward for her good behavior and selflessness, and she turned me down. She said," I don't need a reward for doing something good. I like it and that is enough of a reward." I can tell you that tears pooled in my eyes and I saw that shining halo above her head for a minute. Of course she'll still treat me like I'm stupid from time to time. And yes that smart ass attitude will get her in plenty of trouble. Laziness will still be a problem we face, but for that space in time I was reminded of the innocence they lose so quickly. I was also able to see that huge heart I know she has, and it was one of those moments that took my breath away.

The lesson she learned, you ask? That not everyone has a family and loved ones to take care of them. There are people out there that are alone and sick and need someone, anyone to show them a little kindness. Holidays are especially hard for the lonely souls that fill these places and even one smile can make such a difference. At least for a while. She learned simply, that she is blessed with youth, love and a safe place to call home. I hope that some of the lonely people out there find a little peace this holiday season.




Love and good wishes! HIldi

What?! No christmas dinner?

Have you lost your tiny little mind? Of course I'm fine with dinner. No worries. You just don't like turkey and you're trying to ruin it for all of us. Actually the cooking doesn't bother me and mom brings half of dinner with her anyway. Plus I will call the various aunts and delegate. So no, cooking is not a problem. Cleaning up is handled by the men in my household and I have a dishwasher so it's not too big of an issue. And no dear heart, I won't make you do dishes. Lol. It's good for the menfolk to do them. It builds character. No it's more the cleaning and decorating and planning leading up to the big event that will wear me out. But not working retail (mmmk. not working) it should be easier this year. Unfortunately Lulu does work retail and will be trying to spend time with Bill so I won't have my right hand girl. Although...Bill is pretty handy to help out and Larry and Jethro can be bribed into service. No it will definitely all be fine.



Um. Well. Hmm. I do not ever remember you aspiring to be the quintessential fifties housewife. I don't remember you ever aspiring to being a housefrau at all. Weren't you the "I'm never getting married and having kids" girl? Pretty sure that was your mantra growing up. Maybe these latent aspirations rose to being after I moved away from home. Well I have honestly never achieved that level of success either. I can tidy a home, get an awesome meal on the table, and out Martha Stewart the best of them but you've lost your mind if you think I'm doing it in a skirt and heels! Hope you like my baggy pants and tshirts! I do however generally shower, fix my hair and put on makeup even to stay home. Unless I'm really feeling poorly. But that's more for me then him. I just feel better when I'm clean and pretty and I smell good. And a good glass of wine definitely helps me cook! But not so much with the cleaning...



Well I am off to bed. I accomplished very little today. After two busy days in town I was a little worn down. Spent most of the day writing. I think it counts as work since eventually I might make money. But my house doesn't look any better for it. So tomorrow I need to get in gear and do some real work. Fifties housewife style.



sweet dreams & tidy houses,

gert♥

Drugs for you, drinks for me!

Gert,
As you know I have always planned on becoming the quintessential fifties housewife. With the dress, hair and makeup done and the lovely heels on when my husband arrives home. Of course in my case the huge meals will fall a touch short of the expected, but I was still planning to have that drink( maybe five) in the kitchen while cooking. Now that I am in my thirties it is very unlikely I will ever see my dream realized. Oh cruel, cruel fate! I too have become to old to will my hangover symptoms away the next morning. My goals have been snatched away again by that nasty man(big surprise he's male) Father Time. Really though I believe I just need to build up a tolerance again and then I shall go for the gold. Tequila Gold!

I am ever so sorry to hear of your continuing hurts and lack of brain function. I wish you could see the doctor now instead of in February. Do you really think that your body will let you do Christmas? The meal alone will take a lot of effort. Not to mention the cleaning and dish washing that go with every large gathering. I still say we don't need all the traditional food. Mary and Joseph probably didn't even eat that night. Being together is truly all that matters and I would gladly eat cold sandwiches and chips if that's what there is. Plus I hate getting too full and cranky-tired! Oh! I get it! Your gonna make me do dishes aren't you? Sneaky, Gert. Real sneaky.

I must go, for I am tidying the house this day. I have most of the laundry done, if not yet put away. Just need to vacuum and do dishes! Jerome actually did most of the dishes last night after his birthday dinner. Crazy old guy. Thirty-seven is really upsetting him for some reason. I guess he isn't where he thought he'd be by now. Who is, I say. I certainly didn't think my uniform would be jammies and house shoes!



Love and jammies! Hildi