Tuesday, June 9, 2009


I don't know if you ever feel lonely, but I do. I think I have spent the last decade being in the middle, and it is a lonely place to be. I really don't think I can do it any more.
I am always in the middle of my children and my husband. He doesn't have the patience, or understanding, because he is at work so much. When he is home it's a constant struggle to maintain a positive environment. Needless to say, I spend that time explaining feelings and calming situations. Probably just a mother's job.
I am usually in the middle of my big sis and my parents. Hard feelings and anger have been a part of their relationship since my sis got married it seems. I do the best I can to sooth both sides and find common ground. Probably just a sister's job.
I am in the middle of my husband's family. They want me to fit in and I try my best to achieve this, but I almost feel like I'm not being true to myself. My husband tends to make matters worse with his forgetfulness. My family being so far away plays a catalyst in my emotions. Probably just a wife's job.
I am in the middle of my few family members that live here, and my mother. There is a confusing reluctance to speak or see each other when they are in the same vicinity. I try to explain away these things to the other party as best I can and make suggestions. Probably just a relative's job.
There are probably tons of people out there that have these jobs. These people probably don't complain. Or if they do it's just a passing exasperation for them. Maybe these people have someone they can talk to about...well anything. I have a few friends and some family. Unfortunately they are the ones I need to talk about. I should be able to rely on my husband for...well... anything. Unfortunately that's not his job.

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