Thursday, December 18, 2008

I feel you're pain!

Hildi,

You are always welcome to go out of turn! Especially when you need to vent. And you are right about Jerome. I was the recipient of some of his help just last evening. Granted it was only via phone but I was grateful to have his expertise to call on. That compassionate nature is part of why you love him. I know this well because as I'm sure you've noticed...Larry is exactly the same way. Anyone needs anything...he's your guy. And definately he has come to my rescue a time or two but it does have to be a true "situation" I find myself in. On an everyday basis...I may as well be a single mom. Don't you recall the conversation we had just monday (my birthday) after I wrote that glowing blog about him? HA! As I said that day (and reiterated for him today) if it's in the house it's my problem and he doesn't even notice. Why are they this way you ask? I have a couple theories...the first is that it's because we're more then competent. Yeah, I know...that sounds like a good thing. Not so my dear. We've been taking care of the kid stuff, house stuff, them for so long and so well...they forget that they are supposed to be a partner in all this. To support this theory I have comments from Larry..."But if we were all as good as you, you wouldn't be so special." Believe it or not, that was not sarcasm. He honestly means it. Or another favorite..."But you're so good at it!". It being taking care of everything! Gah! And honestly...I know I'm guilty of it too...we begin to take for granted our partner. I put Larry on hold for other things that I deem more important all the time...knowing he'll still be there when I get back to him. And then it leads to his..."well you never want to do anything with me anyway so I figured you wouldn't care" (petulant, huh?). So I don't know what the cure is, but it seems it's a vicious cycle. I guess maybe communicating your feelings is the only thing that helps. Let him know you're feeling neglected and misused. He may fuss back at you, but at least it will give him something to think about. I offer Larry & my text conversation from my bday:

Larry:I love u and im sorry i upset u what can i do to make your birthday better

Me: Stop being such an oafish lout. Stop using the front door (because the christmas tree blocks it and he was knocking ornaments off the tree!!!). Pay more attention to stuff. Be a partner not just one more kid for me to take care of!

Larry:That's alot for one day im sorry im trying.

Me: Well since i ask for that every year i won't hold my breath. Ok?

Larry:Did you want to do something together today us or the family

Me: Like what?

Larry: I don't know. Movie game cage fight?

Haha! The point is he's a big oafish lout but he doesn't always mean to be. And neither does Jerome. Meanwhile...I appreciate you! Sometimes it helps to know that at least someone does!

love & life,
gert♥

1 comment:

  1. I appreciate you as well and we know your kids and Larry does too but they don't show it. Plus the hardest times are when you really need them, they don't realize it, and go run off and help someone. Obviously you both see that as do I with mine. sometimes I want to scream at him for it and then I remember that is one of the reasons I love him. Just remember that your friends apppreciate you and love you too. We re always here for you.

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