Thursday, November 6, 2008

xmas time is here again...

So every year my parents ask us to send them xmas list ASAP. If not done by thanksgiving...they are up my ass about it. And my mother always threatens to just get us what she wants to if she doesn't get a list...funny thing is...sometimes she does that anyway. One year...I specifically asked for new muffin tins and my sister asked for skillets. She got muffin tins. I got cookie sheets. No clue how that happens. So last year I got fed up and my family and I discussed this over dinner. As usual with our family discussions it degenerated into insanity and outright laughter. The following is a copy of the email I sent to my dad:


Daddio,

So here are the christmas lists we came up with over dinner:

Jethro-Porn
Beer- he really likes miller lite
Tissues (many boxes)
Hand Lotion
Cigarettes

Lulu- condoms
tequila (preferably cuervo gold...she doesn't like the cheap stuff)
a case of EPT tests (in case the condoms don't work)
a brass pole- to practice her new career

Larry- a stripper
a hatchet
a stack of bath towels
garbage bags- the heavy duty kind

Irwin- stock in a frozen burrito company
a lifetime supply of pop tarts- he likes fruit flavors

Myself- those damn muffin tins
one plane ticket to anywhere but here- one way of course!

okay...the real ones we are working on. hope this made you giggle as much as we did coming up with it.

love,
gert

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