Who's the HB now?

Saw this...thought of us!!




giggles,
♥Gert

Gunshots and coffee...

So, guess what woke me up this morning? Gunshots. Oh not from the local gangsters. Not a drive by shooting. Nope. It's deer season. Which in case you don't live in central Illinois is something of a holiday. Yep, kids are excused from school if they bring in their deer tag. Gas stations and restaurants put up signs...Welcome Deer Hunters! Open at 4 AM! Nope. I am not making this up.

My own intrepid hunters (Larry & Jethro) arose at the startingly early time of 2:30 AM. I grumbled, told them to be safe and promptly fell back to sleep. They were leaving at 3:30 to meet Larry's relatives at the boat dock in Hannibal to load the boats. Now, why they can't a~ hunt in our county of Adams, they have to hunt in the neighboring county of Pike and b~ load the boats on the other side of the river (Missouri) to hunt in Illinois are both totally beyond my comprehension. I think Larry tried to explain last night but I'm pretty sure my brain was bored and shut down and I only stared at him in complete glazed eye confusion. What I also do not understand is how anyone can motivate themselves to get up at o'dark thirty, layer on massive amounts of clothing (because it was coooolllddd here), top all this with a hideous blaze orange vest and hat (that hurt my eyes to look at), and then ride out in boats on the river (becoming even colder and possibly damp) in order to possibly shoot a poor defenseless creature. (Having said that, there are one or two persons I might be able to do those things in order to hunt...but we'll save my homicidal rage for another day). But off they went. Either they are doing well or they fell asleep or the truck broke down because they've now been gone for 11.5 hours and I haven't heard from them.

I prefer to spend my day in my warm cozy house. Hopefully, none of the hunters get to close. I told the deer they could all hide in my yard...

♥Gert

The Um. Gee. I Don't Want To Do This Test

So dear Hildi I did it. I went in for the stress test. Now, let me just say that this was totally my doctor's idea and I wasn't really on board from the start. I did ask around and was told that your didn't have to run. Because I was really worried about that. I mean, I was worried they wouldn't provide motivation. And everyone knows I don't run without motivation! Like a bear is chasing me, or there's one snickers bar left in the house and I must beat the kids to it. Something that makes it worthwhile. So I get to the cardio lab and Jethro and I sit in the waiting room filled with old people. I get us both a magazine. Me a Redbook and him a Parenting because, well you can't prepare to early, right? Finally, they call my name.

I follow the perky little nurse back to a room, that houses a gurney, a crash cart, a huge machine and a treadmill. She tells me to take everything off from the waist up and sign the consent form and she'll be back. So I disrobe and then read the consent form, which basically says that if your heart explodes while they're doing this test you can't sue them. Also you can't sue them if you fall off the treadmill. And you can't sue them for saying you're fat and out of shape. Basically, you just can't sue them.

So she comes back in and hooks up all these little electrode thingys and I start to wonder, between xrays, ekgs, this test, mammograms is there a medical person on the planet who hasn't had their hands on my boobs? Seriously, I think the medical community gets more access to my boobs then poor Larry. So after I'm all hooked up and she takes me blood pressure she tells me we have to wait for my doc. So she leaves again. And I wonder around the room (as far as my wires let me) because I'm bored. Then she comes back in and says he's on his way. Get on the treadmill. So I hop up there and she asks if I've ever been on a treadmill before. I say yes, I love treadmills. I've been trying to get our parents to give me theirs for years but they are very busy using it to hang clothes on. The treadmill is going at a nice easy pace and I think. huh. maybe this won't be so bad. WRONG! The doctor comes in and I'm all

Me: Haha. We started this party without you.

Dr: *smile* well that's good. Okay, I want to get your heart rate up to 168 so I'm going to increase the speed and altitude in 5 seconds. Okay? * Is that a real question? Really? Do I get to say no here?*

Me: Bring it on doc. *He then increases the speed and incline and I start to huff a little. Asthma anyone?*

Dr: Now if your chest starts hurting or you can't breathe or you just can't go on, let me know. *Yeah right. I'm not a wuss. I continue huffing along*

Dr: Okay, I'm going to increase you again. How are you doing?

Me: I stopped having fun about 5 minutes ago.

Dr: You've only been on the treadmill for 3 minutes.

Me: Seriously? Well if feels like 5! *speed increases. I'm really huffing and puffing and my calves are tightened up like bowling balls. If I wasn't so committed to not wussing out, I'd have totally told him to stop. At home, I'd have been like "okay, I'm done". Damn stubborn pride*

Dr.: Okay, well we got your heart rate up past where I wanted. I'm going to stop the machine now. But it slows gradually so don't stop walking.

Me: What? You don't want to see me shoot off of here like a human projectile?

Dr: *totally straight face* I've seen that happen. It's not pretty.

Me: huff, puff, huff, puff.

Dr.: So how do you feel? Does your chest hurt?

Me: Um. No. It's a little heavy and hard to breathe but I think that's just asthma.

Dr.: Well your heart looks fine, your BP's great. I think it's just muscle pain from the Fibromyalgia. The heart is a muscle after all.

Me: Fabulous. That's why my calves feel like rocks now too.

Dr.: I think you should start walking though. Twenty minutes three times a week.

I'm pretty sure that was him calling me fat. And out of shape. But I signed the paper so I can't sue. I think they should change the name of the test though. Instead of "Stess Test" they should call it "The Let's See How Glaringly Out of Shape You Are Test". The nurse did say that they get the incline a lot higher then most people ever do on their own. So while I wasn't really running, it was like I was walking up a mountain as fast as I could. It sucked. So I went to the mexican restaurant and had Flan. Because Flan cures everything. Including wounded pride.

♥Gert

Why this is not the funny post I intended. Or why it's all Larry's fault.

So the previous post was deleted. It was funny too. But apparently Larry could get into trouble. I told him next time he does something he shouldn't, he should probably give me strict instructions on not blogging it. The conversation went much like this:

Me: so that one thing, that was totally okay, right?

Larry: No, I didn't exactly go about it right. I should have made a call first and gotten permission beforehand. Not after the fact.

Me: Um. So you could possibly get in trouble if someone say blogged about it for the whole world to see?

Larry: YOU WHAT??!

Me: I think you need to learn to be a little clearer about what you don't want me to blog.

Larry: Well why would you blog that anyway?

Me: Duh, because that sh*t was funny!! And my readers like the funny!! They deserve the funny!!

Jethro: Um...mom? You know you're not like some investigative journalist delivering the unvarnished truth to your readers, right? You're just a blogger.

Me: *stamping my foot and throwing my hands up in the air* I get no respect!

Me: And frankly Larry, I'm a little disturbed by your utter lack of conscience and blatant disregard for the law. Next time, please mention that before I blog. I'll go delete it so you don't get arrested or anything but I.Am.Not.Happy.

Larry: I wouldn't get arrested. A fine, maybe. I'm sorry I screwed up your post.

Me: *sniffing and walking off* whatever.

And so...you should totally blame Larry for this not being the incredibly funny post about him looking like Elmer Fudd. Because it's all his fault.

♥Gert

So I found Hildi!!

I know you all were worried, because I totally was! Well it turns out that once again, illness rears it's ugly head! Poor little Patience caught a nasty bug that aggravated her asthma and she ended up in the hospital. Poor Patience! And poor Hildi!! But Patience is much recovered and Hildi has managed to get some sleep. But not enough to blog yet. She also now has the added (but much welcome) distraction of my parents visiting. So we will hopefully have the pleasure of her blogging again next week. To fill in the time...

So on Wednesday, I finally convinced Jethro to let me take him to the doctor. He'd been coughing for two weeks solid and I was ready to kill him, I mean concerned for him. He hadn't been running a fever really and other than the cough and a headache, didn't feel too badly. But it was time. His cough had turned into that cough. What is known at my house as the "pneumonia" cough. And sadly, we've had it enough at our house that even Captain Oblivious, otherwise known as Larry, can recognize it. Sunday he was all "are you ever going to take that kid to the doctor? Sounds like he has pneumonia." Thank you Larry for your brilliant observation. I know!! But convincing a sixteen year old boy to go to the doctor when he doesn't feel bad is like trying to convince a chicken to lay a golden egg. It's a lesson in futility. Finally I lured him in with promise of lunch at Village Inn (he can always be bribed with food!). So Wednesday rolls around and we head to the clinic in town.

The place is packed. Seriously, we had to park forever away. But as we're walking down the sidewalk, this little old guy hears Jethro coughing (I do have to say it sounds like he has Ebola, or heaven forbid, Swine Flu). Apparently, little old dude thinks so too, because he begins to hurry toward the door, looking back over his shoulder at us the whole time. Desperately trying to avoid coming close to Jethro. I whisper to Jethro, who's looking down and missing the whole thing, "that guy thinks you have swine flu...he's trying to get away from you." Jethro looks up, and us being us, we start moving faster. Little old dude increases his pace and I start giggling. The kicker? He has to pass right by a little kid with a face mask on, who obviously really does have swine flu. Hahaha.

Once inside, we check in and Jethro begins trying not to cough because he doesn't want them to make him wear a face mask. Although, every time he does cough, people stare. My my my, what a panic this pandemic has caused. Well, I'm up first for the doctor. Normal routine visit, or so I thought. I get in and the nurse does her thing and lo and behold! His scale says I've lost 7 pounds! Now, I'm pretty sure his scale is off because I don't think that's true, but I keep my mouth shut because I'm basking in the praise. "Great job Gert!". Riiiiggghhht. Like I've done anything different lately. Except maybe get so caught up in writing my blog that I miss a meal. That actually does happen, much to Jethro's dismay. Then we discuss medication and he adds another one. Joy. I feel like a pharmacy. Then I mention the chest pains I had that freaked the kids out. He asks if I went to the ER. Um...no...I was too tired. I just went home to bed. He sighs and shakes his head. Then asks more questions. I tell him we were out running errands all day that day and my chest starting hurting. Yes, sitting down and resting made it go away. So he says "so exercise makes it worse" and I say "um, well I wouldn't call what I do exercise, but yes, being busy makes it worse." So now I have to have a stress test on Wednesday. I'm freakin thrilled.

Then we go down to Jethro's doctor. Jethro and his doctor have a unique relationship. They give each other loads of crap constantly. It's really a battle to see who can one up the other. She comes into the office and it goes like this~

Dr.: Oh. It's you.

Jethro: Yep. Lucky you.

Dr.: (reading chart) cough, congestion, headache times two weeks. wow. same old stuff. so boring. don't you ever want to be original. Like maybe your big toe could rot and fall off.

Jethro: I like my toes.

Dr.: Fine, well I'm going to have to take gallons of blood today.

Jethro: That's cool. I'm a cutter so it really doesn't bother me. *the Dr. starts giggling* Besides it gives me a chance to steal some dirty needles for my heroin habit.

Dr.: *recovering* Oh. Well my bin looks pretty full. Want me to get the key and pop it open and you can have all you want?

Jethro: that'd be sweet.

They continue in this manner. He hops on the table, she examines him, he starts laughing when she tries to feel his lymph nodes (because he is waaaay ticklish). Finally she sighs loudly and says "well we could do a blood test, but we all know he's got walking pneumonia. Again." So she prescribes the antibiotic and cough syrup and off we go. To Village Inn of course. Because even sick, he has the appetite of a horse. Besides, it was free slice Wednesday!!

swine flu & sarcasm,
♥Gert

PS- Happy Halloween!

Hildi's gone AWOL..

Seriously Hildi, where the heck are you? You haven't even answered texts lately. I know better then to call because you don't pick up unless you think it's an emergency. If I thought Jerome had the stomach for it, I might be worried he'd hacked you to pieces and hid you in the crawlspace.

Anywho, I'm taking your turn again because I need to vent. Big time. After cleaning up my house yet again, I am fed up. So this conversation ensues...

Me: So, I realize that because I do not work outside the home, the house is my responsibility. However, I'm pretty sure that does not give you or the boys leave to become the messiest people on the planet. I checked the fine print of the contract. And if you added a codicil you have to inform my lawyer and he swears to have no knowledge of one so I don't know what you're thinking but it won't hold up in court.

Larry: laughing (at me I'm sure). I don't think I'm the messiest person on the planet.

Me: Really? Really? Are you kidding me? You set the empty kool-aid pitcher on the counter by the dishpan and it had red kool-aid all over the bottom. I just spent twenty minutes scrubbing the stain off the counter. Not to mention that the dishpan was full of un-rinsed dishes (I hate un-rinsed dishes). Why? Why?

Larry: Um. Because I'm a moron? (now the first time he used this defense, I have to admit it was pretty funny and I laughed. And agreed with him, because he said it not me.)

Me: That excuse is really wearing thin. Even morons can learn. And oddly enough, I firmly believe we've had this conversation before. And it seems to do no good whatsoever. So really, I don't know why I'm wasting my breath.

Larry: Ummm. (Yeah, I know he has no clue what to say here.) Sorry?

Me: Whatever. But just so you know...I'm not happy. And all this cleaning and picking up after you and the boys is seriously cutting into all my writing time.

Larry: Well, it would be different if you were getting paid for that writing.

Me: Really? And how would it be different? Hmmmm? Would you be less messy? No. I think not. The only way it would be different is maybe I could afford a maid.

Larry: Of course when you right a blockbuster best seller and become rich and famous you'll be able to afford a maid.

Me: You know, I don't even care if I'm rich and famous anymore. I'd settle for published and able to pay the bills. My dreams have seriously tanked. It's like for every year I get older, my dreams get closer to the floor. Kind of like my boobs.

At which point he actually chuckled out loud. In case you don't read my other blog, this is unusual. Mostly anymore he just looks at me like I've lost my mind. Unfortunately, the dream thing is true. They tell you to reach for the stars but right now I'd settle for the top shelf. *sigh*

there's laundry calling my name,
♥Gert

And that's the last time we let him watch a scary movie before bed!

So Hildi, I'm taking your turn again. I know you've had your hands full with Prudence being sick and cheer clinic and all. But I have a funny story to tell...

So the other night, Tuesday to be exact, the kids and I rented movies and of course us being us, and it being October we rented scary movies. And we decided to watch Trick or Treat first. It was okay. Not tremendously scary. A few jumps. A decent storyline and very watchable. There was this little pumpkin headed demon child that ran around in orange footie-pajamas with a piece of burlap tied around it's head like a sack and a face drawn on it. His name was Sam. He was an evil little guy.

Well, as a rule, Larry doesn't join us in the family room because he says the couch is uncomfortable and there's just the one so we're all kind of piled on top of each other or someone stretches out on the floor. And he can take or leave scary movies. Plus Tuesday is the one night he actually has a show on that he tries to keep up with. But after his show he joined us. The movie was about half way through so I caught him up to speed. We finished the show and Jethro headed down to the Batcave. Larry said he was going to bed. How the man manages to go to bed and fall asleep with the light on and the door open in our house never ceases to amaze me. But he does it. Well Lulu and Oscar and I stayed up talking for awhile and then Oscar headed downstairs to his room and Lulu to hers.

I went to the bathroom to get ready for bed. Now of course the master bath is right off the master bedroom. The bathroom door is like 3 feet from where Larry is laying. When I went to flush the toilet, it started to fill up instead of going down. I threw open the door to ask Larry to get the plunger when the water actually overflowed!! Now this has never happened to me before and since the bathroom is carpeted, I start going "sh*t, sh*t, sh*t" quite loudly!!

Larry wakes up...and jumps out of bed into full defense stance. Now, mind you, he was a wrestler so it's a wrestler's stance. Feet firmly planted shoulders width apart...knees slightly bent...arms out and rounded...looking around going "What? Where is he?!" The poor man is half awake and his eyes are completely bloodshot. And his underwear is hanging in a precariously saggy manner. I start laughing hysterically. "What are you going to save me from?! The toilet??" Lulu is of course, also laughing in her room. "Maybe he thought Sam was after you! You shouldn't let Daddy watch scary movies anymore!" By this time, he's straightened from attack stance, hitched up the baggy undies and is staring at me blearily. By now, I've run to the hall bath, grabbed towels and searched frantically for the plunger.

Me: "Where the hell is the plunger?"(in a not nice manner because I'm pissed about the toilet).

Him: In the hall bathroom?

Me: um. no. been there.

So he stumbles off. About ten minutes later he's back plunger in hand. "It was downstairs." I send him back to bed and he's instantly asleep. If he ever really fully woke up. I plunge the toilet, avert the crisis and soak up the water.

The next morning I'm describing the scene to Jethro, complete with my interpretation of his Dad's stance. He says "ah. that explains it. I was laying in bed when I heard thump thump thumpitythumpitythumpitythump. Thump thump thump. Flick. Then thump thump thump thump thump thump thump thump. That's dad starting down the stairs, falling, then going back up the stairs, flicking on the light switch and coming down. Oscar and I were rolling." Poor guy. No more horror flicks before bed. But at least I know he's ready to take on all evil-doers, toilets too.


plungers and demon children,
♥Gert

So about the Boogeyman...

Um, Hildi dear, it was your turn. Again. But because I'm a good sister, I'll pick up the slack. You owe me. And I think the count is up to like 9,673,214 and 1/2. No, I won't forget the 1/2.

Before I get to the Boogeyman (and we are going to get there), I have to point out that I'm totally unsure how Google decides which ads to place on your blog. Because I seriously understand the Halloween ones, but weddings? Not sure how that fits in. And dementia care? I'm beginning to wonder if they are insinuating...hmmm. And seriously, at the top of the page was an ad for a scarecrow sprinkler!!! Obviously, they didn't read my little rant about how scarecrows are evil and want to make you run people over and take over your soul. Because how could they ever begin to think that after I exposed scarecrows like that anyone would ever buy a freakin scarecrow sprinkler??! Are they daft?

But on to the Boogeyman. Yeah. We're going to have to add him to the list of "things Gert is irrationally afraid of". Big deal. It's such a long list, what's one more. I have always been afraid of the Boogeyman (notice how his name is capitalized? Yeah, it's because he's that bad!). Hated the dark place under the bed. No foot or hand ever hung over. And I have been known to leap a good three feet onto the bed in order to avoid his grasping hands. (But not in at least three months). Seriously, remember that movie Poltergeist? It came out when I was like 12 and Hildi was 5. She slept in my bed for months. Remember how that creepy clown doll (yes, also on the list...clowns) came out from under the bed?! Way to give a visual to my nightmares. And I still absolutely cannot sleep without the closet doors all firmly shut. Because that way the Boogeyman can't get you. Or at least you have warning when you hear the door open.

So they make a movie about the Boogeyman. And really, it was just okay. Not a big fan of it actually. But last night on TV...a sequel. Boogeyman 2. And of course I stayed up to watch it. And surprisingly, it was better then the original (how often does that happen?). I mean it wasn't in league with 30 Days of Night or The Exorcist or Rosemary's Baby. But it was watchable and had a few jumps.

But at one point, our heroine is trying to outwit the Boogeyman (as if!) and she's sneaking away from him between two rows of records. And I'm watching her tread quietly and duck and tiptoe and it suddenly occurs to me that I'm screwed. If I ever have to try to sneak away from the Boogeyman, I might as well give up. Because at some point during my "sneaking", at least one of my joints is going to pop loudly. And heaven help me if I have to duck, because my knees are going to do that disgusting creaking/grinding noise they make and give me away. So my best bet? Yep. Confrontation. I'm just going to go up to him and talk my way out of it...

Me: Alright, let's stop playing around here. We both know I can't sneak away from you. I can't outrun you. And I sure as hell can't overpower you I mean you have like super strength or whatever and you're invincible.

BM: Invisible?

Me: Um. No. Invincible. I can't kill you. Wait! Can I?

BM: Of course not. Don't you keep up. I'm the Boogeyman.

Me: Hmmm. Darn. There for a minute...well ok, nevermind. Go ahead.

BM: Go ahead and what?

Me: Kill me. Get it over with. C'mon. You're wasting darkness here.

BM: (completely taken aback) You're just going to give up?

Me: Yep. We've been through this. Nothing I can do. You win. I give up. Hah! Not so much fun is it, now? All the fun's in the chase, huh? Well too bad mister! You didn't really think terrorizing me through did you? Whoopee do...you got the old chubby chick. That's not much for bragging rights. What are you gonna do when you're sitting around with your monster friends talking about tonight's kills, huh? They're gonna be all, last night I took down this 6'5" 350 pound football player. Made him scream like a schoolgirl. Put up a helluva fight, but I won in the end. Or last night I chased this six year old all around her house like we were playing hide and seek. Just like a cat playing with a mouse. She was a smart cookie, but I got her in the end. But you. Nope. What have you got? Well, I went to this chicks house and crept out of the closet and she gave up. Makes you look lame, dude. They're gonna laugh. What kind of self-respecting Boogeyman are you? Geez, go pick on somebody who's not half-crippled and on to you. Wuss.

BM: Shut your trap woman! I'm outta here. stalks angrily back into closet

Me: Don't you take that tone of voice with me mister! And no slamming doors! For the love of Pete! Where have all the good monsters gone?

Oh yeah...their sitting outside my neighbors house, waving at me!!!

happy nightmares,
♥Gert

Happy Fall Y'all!

Hehe. That rhymed! So as you know...I LOVE FALL. I love the colors, I love the weather. (oh yeah, rainy, cold and grey gets me jazzed) Not really. I do like the cool crisp fall air. We just seem to be having an abundance of the wet kind currently. I love apple picking time. And apple pies and apple cider. I love Halloween and all that goes with it. Wait. That's a lie. I do not love everything that's associated with Halloween. Or fall. I freakin hate scarecrows!!! Wtf? Who decided scarecrows should be part of the whole fall decorating scheme?? Because, I'd really like to slap them in the face.


I know, I know beeing afraid of scarecrows is irrational. Duh. Now ask if I care? So this is a big problem because the people down the road think decorating with a scarecrow is an HGTV idea. And they do it every year. Every year, right about this time, they swap their summer decorations for bales of hay and a freakin scarecrow. He's sitting there all cheerful like on these bales of hay, right under the freakin light mocking me. Oh don't even tell me he's not. Because I know he knows that he's freaking me out and that's why he's smiling. They've even got one arm raised up in a wave. Are they trying to kill me??? I think they must be. I only got a good look at him that first time when I was taken by surprise. Since then, every time I drive past that house I have to put my hand up to block the sight. Then I slap my hand over my rear view mirror so I don't accidentally catch a glimpse. Because I know, I know that one of these days he's going to wave or turn his head just the slightest or somehow let me know he's in there. Personally, I hope he decides to run in front of the car...because dude, you are going down!!!

Yeah, I know that all sounds slightly crazy but I'm pretty sure Stephen King understands.
And some day I'm going to write a story about a murdering evil scarecrow and dedicate it to those people and they're going to read it and be scared. Very scared. Then they're going to apologize and burn that damn scarecrow. But until then...I probably wouldn't stand to far out in the road in front of their driveway, because I can't really see you if you are, what with my hand blocking my view and all, and you might get run over. And it would be the scarecrows fault. Just saying...


♥Gert

Oh goosebumps!

Gert,
I hate it when toys turn themselves on! Especially when there's no one around to be freaked out with you. I much prefer creepy things to happen while in a group. Of course, even when someone else is there, you might be the only one to see or hear it.
I truly think you should give the writing another go. Whether your pulling out the old stories or writing completely new ones. It's something your good at and seem to enjoy. I imagine rejection on something that personal would be hard, but creating is good for the soul.
Dream house you say? I would settle for bedroom furniture at this point! Hell, some new undies would probably make me cry! My husband has a wonderful opportunity for more money and a better job staring him in the face. Has he done anything to start on this promising journey? Nope. It has been three months and he hasn't taken a single step in that direction. Yet he'll complain everyday about his current career. This could be a major crossroads for us. I don't know if I can respect a man who doesn't want to better his family's life. There is only so much whining and laziness a girl can take!
Speaking of whining! I have never in my life seen a person carry on so, about having some teeth taken out! He had this done on Friday morning and has not stopped bitching( or taking hydrocodone )since! Yes, I know it is very unpleasant. Dental procedures are rarely fun and it takes time to heal. Come on! I have had so many more invasive dental surgeries and have yet to continue my pain medication for more than the following day. I have also never used it as an excuse to be useless! What's that? Get my tooth ripped out and drive home to run errands? Ok! Wait, you mean I need to have a bone graft inside my gum and while their there they'll do a root canal from the inside? Sure, then I'll not only drive myself home but go get my medication and take care of the children. Please! Tuck in your skirts Alice!

Alright, I feel better. Soo sorry for ranting about that, but enough is seriously enough!

I'm soo excited for Halloween! I am ordering the girls costumes tonight!


Boo, Hildi.

Crazy cat lady...

In case you haven't noticed...I already have a multitude of cats! Seven to be exact. I'm pretty sure those seven would wait for me to fall asleep and then eat me if I were to add another to our home. The oldest ones are pretty pissed off about the newest ones as it is. I'm on thin ice with them. They glare balefully at me whenever their naps are disturbed by the two menaces (otherwise known as kittens). But I can't help it, I'm as bad with animals as I am with people. Stray? Don't have a home? Gert will take you in.

I am a little more settled with Lulu's leaving. I think after having the entire group there for the birthday party on Sunday, it was just a let down when they all went back to their own homes. And Lulu's not just my daughter, she's one of my best friends. As you said, at least she's with a good guy and happy. And she's called like four times this week so that helps. Yes, she called me. I didn't even ask her too. Until she starts picking up more hours at her job, she has alot of free time. Dexter has school and work and so do the other roommates. So she really is an HB. And she's finding it boring. So she calls me. It's almost like she was four again. "Mom. I'm boooored." You have to admit, you can only clean a small apartment so many times.

I think you're right. I need to have something on my plate before Jethro leaves. But I feel like I do. Between the two blogs we have and the other one I do, I spend a lot of time writing. And finally, the guys are taking it more seriously. Jethro even told me to go ahead and go write yesterday, that he would clean up the house. And he did. He even vacuumed. (No, I checked. No fever) He knew I felt bad about taking the weekend off (since Irwin was home) and then Monday (because I spent all freakin day in the car!) and Tuesday (because i was laying on the couch, hacking up a lung). And yes, I have several stories. I guess I should dust them off, spruce them up, and submit them. I just hate rejection. I know, all writers get rejected sometimes. Really, that's not a consolation when your holding the rejection letter. Even when they say, "great story, just not what we're looking for right now". To me that still reads F-A-I-L. I guess I need to toughen up. I mean it's quite obvious to me that Larry is never going to make us rich so it's up to me. I actually asked him the other day if he'd build me my dream house and he said "sure, as soon as you write a book and get rich". I was flabbergasted. "I have to pay for my own dream house??" to which he replied "yes, but I'll save you a bunch of money by building it myself". I guess that was his idea of compromise.

So my friend's sister and her husband wrote a book. A young adult scifi novel. She read Jethro and I the opening paragraph the other day at lunch. Seriously, you'd have to know these people to understand. But I can honestly say it was close to the worst thing I've ever read. She said they asked her if she knew of someone who would be willing to be their editor before they submitted. She said "I thought instantly of you, but knew you'd kill me." Indeed. I'm pretty sure they couldn't pay me enough. However, I must admire their initiative and follow through. She's going to email me the link where they've posted the first three chapters online. I'll be sure to pass that on. =]

Well, I need to go. But first...to put in your weird & freaky file...Sunday night, after everyone had left, Jethro had headed down to his room, Irwin and Larry were in bed, and I was alone in the family room sitting right here at this very computer...I heard this low pitched voice, then hammering. Well, I looked around the room, and there sitting on top of the toy box was one of Irwin's old toys. It has this little bear in a construction suit that talks and little buttons you hammer down with a plastic hammer that light up and make noise...it was going off all by itself. The cats were even downstairs with Jethro. No one but me was in the room. I gotta tell you the hairs on my arms stood up and I was a little creeped out. But luckily I was way too tired to get really scared. Now...if it happens again...

books, blogs & spooky happenings,
♥Gert

I don't know. I blinked!

Gert,
Time sure does fly. And you know what? You don't have to be having fun either. Sometimes I feel like my life before children( and husband ) was a past life. I get little snippets of it when I'm watching television or driving. To me it seems surreal that there was ever another Hildi. That girl was carefree and easy to please! Of course she was also irresponsible and selfish, but ah, the good old days! I guess I'm still rather easy to please. Give me a day where there's no major melt-down and ten minutes to myself, and I'm doing pretty good!
I can't imagine having to let go of one of my babies! Talk about depressed! I truly think it's harder for stay-at-home moms to say goodbye when their children move out. It's not that we love our children more. It's because they are actually our lives. I wake up in the morning to get one off to school and the rest of my day is spent doing things with the little one. When the eldest comes home to us, we have dinner and spend our evening together until bedtime. That's pretty much my world. Throw in cheer leading, play dates, and movies. Yep, my kids are my life. So what happens to us when their gone? Where do we focus our love and attention? I know some would say that is the time for our marital relationship to be our focus. Please! Our husbands would suffocate if we transferred all that affection to them. Besides, do we really know them or like them at that point?
I think you should look for something to fulfill you. Maybe a hobby, or a new career option. I know you've got some really great stories that you've written. Heck, start reading tarot cards! The important thing is to do it now before Jethro leaves. I don't want you to suffer any of the empty-nest syndrome stuff! I will call you names, if you start hording nick-knacks or getting an exorbitant amount of cats!


Cat Lady signing out, Hildi!

Where did the time go?

Today is Lulu's 18th bday. And she is at her new home. I may cry. It's sooo weird her growing up and all. I mean really. When did that happen? So she was home all last week packing up her room and stuff. It was great having her home. I mostly had her to myself. She did spend some time out with friends and making the rounds. But mostly it was just with me. Then Dexter drove down for the weekend and you would have thought they'd been apart for a year instead of 5 measly days. She saw the car pull up and went flying out the door into his arms. (Yes, I did throw up in my mouth a little). He stayed for the wedding Saturday night and left on Sunday since he had class Monday morning. She had a hematology appointment yesterday morning so she stayed here, then Jethro and I drove her to Ankeny. It's a four hour drive, not too bad. The town they live in is nice. Reminiscent of any suburb of a big city. Their apartment building is new, and really close to the college. It looked secure. And their apartment is nice (aside from the fact that it's on the third floor and there are no elevators!!!). It's not huge but they don't really need that much space. I met the one roommate, Lance, he's super nice and funny. (Totally warned me at dinner that the bite Jethro was about to give me, Jethro had already licked. Jerk! Jethro, not Lance) I didn't meet the other roommate, but got to meet his gf. Dexter and Lulu have the master bedroom, with a walk in closet and private bath. I'm pretty sure it's way nicer then me & Larry's first place. (As evidenced by the lack of red & black shag carpet). They took us out to dinner and then we headed back.

While we were in the car, Jethro regaled me with his hilarious views on everything.

His view on working with his father:

It would be great if he'd actually give instruction before he told you to do something. He sends me to do something and after I start says "that's not how you do that." or "dude, you're totally fucking that up" then tells me how to do it.

His view on me:

It's like when I'm cooking something and I ask you how you know when it's done and you say "um, I don't know. I just do". Well when I think it's done I'll bring it in to you since you obviously have the "holy shit it's done"-o-meter up your ass. Or when I ask you how much spice to put in something and you say "until it looks right". Well I don't know if you know this...but spices are minuscule. They disappear into whatever you're cooking. It looks the f*ing same!!!

Gotta love that kid.

Growing pains & teenage commentary,
♥Gert

I'll keep my ghosts!

Snakes do not bother me. Of course I've never been faced with one in any part of my house before. Your aversion to snakes is rather like my hatred of spiders. They tend to pop up when you least expect them and scare the dickens out of you. Or should I say me? I was cleaning yesterday and had bent down to pick up Prudence's purse from the kitchen floor,(Why would it be anywhere else?)when the big-baddy reached for me! I made that choked cry you make when the scream gets stuck in your throat. To give myself credit though, at least I didn't hyperventilate this time. Did you know that Windex is useful in the destruction of spiders? It is. You need only to use four to five squirts. They seem to know about my overwhelming dislike for them. Truly they never go after anyone else in my family.
Seeing as how I don't have a historical house, I doubt Jason and Grant would come visit. Maybe I could do some research on this area and find out if anything drastic happened here. I would assume though, that it would be common knowledge in these parts. After all, the town I live in is very small. It's not significantly old either. The town was founded around 1814. Okay, so that's pretty old! I shall see what I can find out.
I've always had the feeling it's family members. They joined us after Patience was born and have come and gone since then. Although they haven't gone anywhere for a while. As long as they remain well-behaved and don't ask for too much, my house is there house. It must be very frustrating to be without a place to go.


Haunted and happy, Hildi

Unwanted visitors...

Yes, I am aware of your "upstairs people"! Having stayed at your house and experienced their noises for myself, I'm a total believer. And they do indeed listen. That's the funny part. I remember one night I was sleeping in Patience's room alone when I was awakened by the sound of people moving around on the other side of the closet wall. Of course...it's an outside wall so obviously there's no one on the other side. Being quite cranky when I get woke up in the middle of the night I testily said "Would you stop that racket?! Honestly, I'm trying to sleep!" and much to my surprise and pleasure, the noises stopped. Maybe you should call in Jason & Grant.

I had an unwanted visitor yesterday:



I went down to the basement to get something from the deep freeze. I noted that the boy's room was a disaster (how unusual) and peeked into my laundry room. This guy was on the floor in there. Now, as you know, even though I've lived in the country for the past 8 years and have learned to tolerate snakes...they still frighten me and I darn sure do not want them in my house. So I screamed. At the top of my lungs. And Lulu came running down the stairs. She then proceeded to laugh at me. No, she's not only not afraid of snakes, she kinda likes them. So I went to the basement door and she proceeded to pick this guy up. At her holler, I threw open the basement door and hid my eyes. She took him out to the grass. Whew. Safe.

I'd rather have ghosts.
♥Gert

Just call me HB!

As you know, it takes me some time to reacquaint myself with all of my duties upon returning from an absence. Definition of some time is, about a week. Add a few days for prolonged absences. Here we are almost two weeks since returning from Myrtle Beach and I am finally back to HB. Large and in charge! By the way, I have decided to return to the(any) beach.
I know as my sister I have mentioned to you the people who reside upstairs in my home. Everyone who has visited for a night or more has heard them. They walk around and make odd noises. They peek over the landing at the top of the stairs at whomever might be down in the living room. Once, maybe three times, they have also hidden things from me. Of course they usually give the items back. Usually. My husband has recently admitted to catching them peeking from the landing. He only admitted this when we had our experience on Thursday morning. I asked Prudence where her glasses where, and she said they were upstairs on her nightstand. Her father went up to retrieve them, but came back empty handed. A lecture ensued about responsibility. She adamantly insisted the glasses were on the nightstand, so Jerome again checked upstairs. He even went so far as to get on the floor and look around it. He quite specifically put his hand on the nightstand for support getting up. He then returned downstairs glasses-less, and resumed the lecture. After a few tears shed by our daughter and her unwavering surety that they were where she said, he returned upstairs( third time ) to check her bed. Prudence and I were packing her bag for school when he came down and handed her her glasses. As we kissed and hugged her good-bye he was very quiet and not forthcoming about the location of the glasses.
Once we returned inside he turned to me and very seriously told me they had been on the nightstand. Of course I didn't find this difficult to believe. He proceeded to explain how thoroughly he had looked for them. Jerome was in a state of disbelief and shock I have rarely seen him in. He just kept saying that they hadn't been there the two times he had gone up to look. Then on the third as he was heading for her bed he glanced down and there they were, folded and sitting precisely where he had put his hand for support. At this point he noticed the fact that I was still not surprised. When he asked me why, I told him that it seemed obvious who was to blame and in fact I raised my voice and said it wasn't a very nice thing for them to do to a little girl. Jerome then admitted to thinking it was our upstairs residents also. He told me about his experiences with the peeking and was finally calming down. I let him know that they usually behave very well. Especially after a scolding for too much noise. Since he could tell I was still a little miffed about them getting Prudence in trouble he also shared his idea of what he thought happened. Jerome thinks the glasses were probably in another location entirely. Our friends must have heard the lecture occurring below and decided to put the glasses on the nightstand to be found. While I can't be sure this is what truly happened, I thought it best to offer a thank you to them if that was the case. Always a good idea to remain on friendly terms with people you can't see.
It feels very nice to have my husband in-the-loop, so to speak, with our friends.

Cold spots and orbs, Hildi.

Follow me...

We have a new follower! Well maybe not "new", honestly I don't know when she started following us but I just noticed today. I looove being followed. Seriously, I bounced up and down in my chair a little and clapped my hands. "We have a new follower" I said. And Lulu replied "you're adorable". It occurs to me that this may be a condescending thing for an almost 18 year old to say to her mother, but I'm too happy to care. And oddly enough, I think she means it. She really seems quite taken with my eccentricities. She says they make me "me". Whatever, we have a new follower. That makes me feel validated. *extremely silly grin*

So Hildi, um. wtf? Where are you? Because you seem to be slightly AWOL from your blogging duties. I know how addicting facebook is...but um blogging is real. Duh. And I know you're still alive because we were totally texting during Ghost Hunters last night. (Jason & Grant= my total almost celebrity crushes). I hope that since your satellite was on the fritz you got to catch the episode online! I hope you checked out Destination Truth as well like I told you too. Because even Larry will watch it with me and as a bonus, that Josh guy who hosts it is hott. =]

Well, that's it for today kiddies...I'm off to make dinner. You know, before Jethro starves to death. How much can a 16 year old possibly eat anyway? He's like a bottomless pit...and yet never gains a pound. Oh how I envy.

Chicken Parmesan & garlic bread,
♥Gert

I'm so over it...

Twitter that is. The experiment is pretty much ended. Really, I just don't see the attraction. I mean it's kind of neat to see what famous people are doing but not that much. Maybe if I'd had friends who "tweeted" it would have been different. Maybe not. But whichever, I'm done. Going to delete the Twitter account and get rid of one more of my computer "time-suckers".



Which brings me to my absolute addiction to Facebook. I know, right? How old am I anyway? And yet I log on everyday (usually 2-3 times per day) to see what my friends have to say, take a silly quiz (or 2, or 5), check out peoples uploaded pics and play yo-ville. Oh my. Can we say addicted? Truly. I admit it. Sadly, there is always something else I should be doing. Cleaning, cooking, laundry, reading, writing...the list goes on. So I'm really going to try to limit this to once a day. The first step to overcoming is admitting you have a problem, right? Hahaha.



As an update...the family vacay went very well! I think a good time was had by all. There were ups and downs but I think the ups far surpassed the downs. And it was the ocean!!! How can you not have a good time at the ocean? We are thinking of heading west next year. But that seems a very long way off!



Right now I'm trying to finish up stuff for birthdays. Lulu turns 18 next week. Irwin turns 19 the week after. Larry has a birthday in October, as does Bubba, and Oscar. Then I would like very much to focus on Christmas. I can't even believe it's so close again! And this year I would like to be done with the presents early! So I want to get a head start.



already with the sugarplums in my head,

(wait...what is a sugarplum anyway?)

♥Gert

Happy dance...

Yes it was good news and I would do the happy dance if my stomach didn't still hurt so badly! Guess that's what happens when it's slashed open and re-sewn. Not pretty in any sense of the word. But the ginormous cyst is gone as is the threat of "C". Everything came back benign. Guess you're stuck with me for a while longer! The down side is now no one gets to dye their hair outrageously! Okay...i still might. I mean really, one thing this taught me is you just never know how much time is left. So if I want purple hair...who's to say no?!

I am way excited about vacation. Printed out mapquest directions for everyone today. Emailed you and dad grocery lists. I will not pack til Wednesday...but my best advice is lists. I make a list of everything that needs packed and cross off as I go. This has been most effective. The good news is...should you forget something, chances are either mom or I will have it. If not...walmart is right down the road (conveniently located across from books-a-million). But yes...just remember in your flurry of preparations that in one short week from now, you will be dipping those toesies in the ocean. And sipping refreshing beverages on the balcony of our penthouse suite! And eating fresh seafood! Okay...I'm really excited now!

Talked to Lulu today. They have returned to Iowa from Texas. She had a blast in Texas. Loved camping on San Padre Island. Loved San Antonio. And loved Kent's aunt & uncle and their ranch. She will be coming here on Wednesday. Just enough time to pack, get a blood test for her ITP, and a pedicure. Lol. Oh to have her life!

As for you and Jerome....Larry and I really stopped spending our leisure time together several years ago. We try occasionally to do something together...well there's always the obligatory dinners for his work...but it's not usually a lot of fun. So we go our separate ways. Not that he has much of what you'd call leisure time. He works mostly. And then he hunts. Which I want no part of. What kills me is when he gets upset that I made plans without him. Are you serious? Why would I sit around and wait for you to have two minutes of time for me? Or make plans with you that I then have to cancel because something came up with your job? Or listen to you whine about whatever I have planned because it's not what you would have chosen? Yep. That's why I have children and friends. So I have someone to do stuff with!

Well dear heart...don't wear yourself out packing!



Love, suitcases & travel plans,

♥Gert

Good news

Gert,
As the good news is yours to share, I shall only say congrats! I have to admit that this is some of the best news I've had in a while, so I can only imagine how you must feel. Of course finding out my friend is alright late last month was great too. My advice to you is to live your life like there is no tomorrow anyway. And if you can do that tell me how!
We are getting very excited about vacation here at my house. In fact I will probably be packing our bags next week! Yes, I know we have a little more than two weeks to go, but I have to be organized or I'll forget something. Who am I kidding? I'll still probably forget something. That's okay though, because we shall all have a marvelous time.
Other than that, things have been pretty boring. We got all the school supplies and are preparing for the return! Jerome and I are not great, but then everyday can't be bliss. He and I really don't enjoy doing the same things when we get the opportunity to spend an evening together. I like to go to my favorite sports bar and play pool or shuffle-board. I am more than happy to putt-putt or bowl. My husband wants to eat and fall asleep in the movie theater. Hum....sounds like what he does at home! However my loving and thoughtful husband is raring to go do anything when he's accompanying his friends. That leaves us back at square one. I don't want him to ruin my nights out with complaining and he would rather sleep then do something with me. Guess it's better to go our separate ways. We'll return to him having a night and me having a night and passing eachother at home. Such is life.
I really miss you guys. Having you here was fun. I think that's what will make vacation so much fun. We'll all be together.

Vacations and exclamations...Hildi

Home again...

Ah Hildi! Or was that Ms. Weenie? Haha. You leave my friends from another dimension out of this! Oh yes...that is definitely why we are going to the prison next year...to be scared poopless! And yes...laughing at you does provide some entertainment as well! And it is indeed a scary place. As demonstrated by the fact that it has been on not only "America's Scariest Places" but also "Ghosthunters" as well. (Love you Jason & Grant!!!). It will indeed be a good time.

Speaking of good times...I had a great one at your house! Sorry my little friend (who will soon be surgically removed) reared his ugly head and spoiled Thursday. I'm not a big fan of surgery, but if it will get rid of the pain I will be a happy girl. But the rest of it was fun. Oh...and even in pain...I beat you at mini golf!!! Sorry...just had to rub that in. It's a big sister thing. Of course, we both know, had it been pool we had been playing...you would have wiped the floor with me. =]

And planning the menu for the myrtle beach vacay was even fun. Don't you love my little game of "I can do that grocery list in blank amount of $"?! I play it every time I go to the grocery store. If you're going to be poor...why not make a game of it?! Lol. Kind of like Lulu's boyfriend telling me how he bought them a dresser at salvation army for $16. Not because he has too...geez Lulu could buy them 3 dressers from Ethan Allen if she wanted to...but just because he can. Gotta love a thrifty guy. Especially as it balances out her shopaholic-ness! Speaking of which...we watched "Confessions of a Shopaholic" last night. It was cute! Lulu bought the book and is going to read it. I will ask for her review for book notes!

And to answer the question about Jethro...yep. Still interested. They text alot. And I think there is a double date brewing with Lulu and Kent on Monday night maybe? Omg. His first real date. How cute is that? I do indeed feel old.

wrinkles & gray hair,
♥Gert

I prefer, Mrs. Weenie.

Gert,
I don't care for your name calling. Yes, I'll admit, I'm scared of ghosts and ghouls and things that go bump in the night. Maybe because I never played with them as a child, like others I could mention. You know who you are. (cough, Gert) In my list I was trying to say that I don't want to see any here. As in, home! I am going to the prison next year so I can be as scared as the rest of you. Probably more so. After all, I usually am. But, I ask you, isn't that the reason we all go to these things? To be scared poopless? If not why would we go? So I will take the weenie brand you have given me and I will wear it as the badge of frivolity. As you surely intended. I am positive that I will have the most fun and provide it for you all!
I really hate to hear of Jethro's conquests. It makes me feel truly old. It also reminds me that my little ones will be there someday and that really scares me! I am glad he found a good girl though. They are soo hard to find! Will he still be interested when she goes back to her town and it requires more of an effort?
Your just freakin me out with the twitter!

Vacation, Yay! Gosh I hate to see the school year start, but it means we get to go on vacation! Quite the conundrum. I just hope we really get to go. It will be a very good time, had by all. I know my girls are looking forward to it almost as much as I am.
As you said, I will be seeing you very soon now. Tomorrow! I will check out for now and be back when our week is over.

Mrs.Weenie, Hildi

gert...giggling =]

I really enjoyed reading your post and I will help you put it on Facebook for sure. But...um...okay...I'm gonna laugh at you here....scared to see a ghost?! You weenie! What the heck are we spending the night at the haunted prison if not to see a ghost!? Hahaha. Oh my. Sorry but that's just funny. I also think it's enormously amusing that cooking is on my list of things I do well and on yours as things you don't do well. And pool is exactly the opposite. I guess they divided those genes as unevenly as they did the fat ones. It's like a 90/10 split. I think everything should have been 50/50. Lol.

So...twitter. Wow. Still not addicted but it does kind of grow on you. I just enjoy thinking up funny things to say in 140 characters or less. And I have 5 complete strangers following my tweets. weird. I mean I'm at least following famous people...not, well, people like me.

I paid the last of the money towards the Myrtle Beach condo rental today!!! Yay! In 28 days we will be standing on that penthouse balcony looking at an amazing view of the ocean, feeling the salty breeze, and getting ready to feast on some seafood. I can only say "bring it on!!!" If anyone ever needed a vacay it's us. What a crappy month last month was. Here's to August being better and moving swiftly towards family vacation. Of course I'm going to have that surgery mid month and spend several days in a painkiller induced haze. lol.

Jethro has a girlfriend! Okay, so officially I believe they are "talking" which, if I understand correctly is a prelude to "dating". I think they have to keep things on the down low because of her best friend also liking him and her cousin. But I really like the girl. She's wholesome and sweet. It's just so odd to think of my baby dating. I mean Lulu had been dating for 3 years by the time she was his age. But she was boy crazy from the get go (NO idea where she gets that!). And he has always thought dating required way to much time, energy and cash. Smart boy. So I guess if he's willing to change his 'tude, he must really like her. Yes I will send you pics. lol.

Well, I'm off to eat some jimmy johns and watch some scary movies with Jethro. Can't believe how much I missed hanging out with him! Lulu...well we are having some issues. But the good news, Hildi dear, is that in two days I will be at your house! See you then!

summer road trips rock my socks,
♥Gert

My List

You'll have to help me put it on facebook, but here it is in all it's(or my) glory!

Five things I'm good at.
1. I'm really good at lying. Really. Now I only use it for good deeds though!
2. Being a mom. I never thought I would be and had not planned on it. I'm not the best, but I'm so thankful I don't suck.
3. I think I'm a very good friend. That's what my friends say, so we'll go with that.
I'm a great listener and support giver.
4. Photographer. I really don't stand out as far as regular family photos go, but give me an ancient house or gorgeous landscape, and I'll give you a work of art.
5. I am pretty good at pool. I used to be in a league. Now I don't get to play as much, but when I have practice I can beat most guys I know.

Five things I'm not good at.(only five?)
1. Cooking. Maybe I could be, but I have no desire to start trying. Just never got that Betty Crocker jean.
2. I will never be good with the computer. I've been taught, shown and lectured about the damn thing and I still can't grasp it.
3.Taking care of myself. It's only just hit me this year that I should be more diligent in taking care of me. I've concentrated so much time and energy on my family that I may have been lax with myself. More vitamins please!
4. Organizing. It is a wonder we find anything and get where we're going half the time. I need one of those personal planners I had in school!
5. Confrontation. Surprise! For anyone who knew me five or more years ago this will come as a shock. Ok, so I used to be a bitch. Straight up, don't care what anyone thinks, tell ya how it is Bitch! Now I let things go and go and go. I hate to bring things up with loved ones especially.

Five quirks or eccentricities.
1. When I have a virtual pet, I go overboard taking care of it because I feel tremendously guilty if I leave it for too long. Weird I know! But I can't handle it if the poor thing is upset when I check on it.
2. My shower routine is more OCD than eccentric, but I think it fits. I have to apply shampoos and soaps at certain intervals or my whole day is thrown off.
3. Rather than cursing(most of the time) I use antique sayings. Such as; Oh my stars, and Stuff and nonsense, and Pshaw! They grow on you and then you can't get rid of them.
4. I am a singer! Not really. I don't sing very well, but I do it all the time. In the car, making dinner, in the shower and cleaning. Not only that but I sing some odd tunes. Like the song from Best Little Whorehouse in Texas! Not the one Whitney Houston ruined. The one all the girls sing with Dolly when they shut her down. Haha!
5. I guess that leads me to movies. I'm a girl, but I hate romantic comedies. I am very eccentric where movies are concerned. I love action, adventure, horror, and comedies. However, I also love old movies, Charles Dickens movies and kids movies. Still not going to watch The Notebook!

Five things I'm afraid of.
1. Becoming my mother. I love her very much, but I don't want to be that bitter. I don't know if she's ever happy and that scares me.
2. Spiders! Oh My Gosh! I can't breath when I see them. They know it too! I swear they come after me on purpose, because They Know!
3. Not getting to say goodbye. I realize we all have to die sometime, but to me, saying goodbye is so important. It's a terrible feeling when you miss that chance.
4. I am terrified of not being close to my girls when they're older. I love them so much and I hope we'll always have an open relationship.
5. Actually seeing a ghost. I love haunted stories and houses. I even plan to stay over-night at a haunted prison. I just really, really don't want to see one here.

Five things I'm grateful for.
1. My children. All the rest of my family and friends as well. I couldn't have asked for a better group of people to love and be loved by.
2.My humor. Without it life wouldn't be so good. Neither would my husband's!
3.Books. I am ever so grateful to the ladies and gentlemen whose talent keeps me sane.
4.Jeans. Seriously, we might still be in corsets or petticoats. Give me a comfy pair of jeans any day!
5. I am truly grateful for my life. Not only the blessings I have been given, but the fact that I'm still here to have them.

Five things that make up my personal philosophy.
1. Karma is something I firmly believe in as well. I have witnessed it and been on the receiving end of both kinds.
2. I believe it's very important to be good to others anyway. Not because your afraid of Karma but because it makes you a better person. I feel like being good to people has done so much for me.
3. Life is to short to stay angry. Of course I still get mad about things, but I don't stay that way for long. And never walk away angry.
4. Courage isn't something we're born with. It's something we achieve only when we face our fears and move on. The courage to live and love is something we should all strive for.
5.Stay positive. It really helps you and it helps those around you. A lot of the time I don't even think I have a glass. But I'm still looking for it so it can be half full.

I hope I covered everything. You probably didn't know I was so weird, did you?!
Love and Eccentricities, Hildi.

No time!

So apologize I must, but I have to hurry and shower to get ready to go to springfield! So no "Gert's Twitter Experiment" update today. In fact, I borrowed this post from my Facebook. I did this last week. So for those of you who already read it there...sorry! But also in posting it here...maybe Hildi will finally fill one out for herself!

So lately there is alot going on. There seems to be something (or someone) new to worry about every day. And while I know that worry is counterproductive and a waste of energy, sometimes it's hard to shut it off. So that has led me to some deep pondering. And here is what I've come up with:



List 5 things you're good at:

1. Cooking. I'm a freakin awesome cook. Ask anyone.
2. Answering questions. I may not know the right answer but I will make up some amazing bullshit. And you will quite possibly believe it. This is not the same as lying because I don't do it about important stuff.
3. Making people feel good about themselves. (which makes me feel good about me)
4. Finding things to be happy about. Even if they're miniscule.
5. Cuddling. Yep. I'm a pro.



List 5 things you are not good at:

1. Pool. Seriously, I suck. You do not want me on your team.
2. Lying. I'm horrible at it. It makes my stomach hurt. And everyone can see right through it.
3. Telling people "no". Really, I have a hard time saying "no" about anything. But I'm working on it.
4. Staying angry. I cannot hold a grudge. It's just not in me. I always forgive.
5. Doing more then two things at once. Seriously, I cannot multitask anymore. My concentration is shot.

List five quirks or eccentricities:

1. I read magazines from back to front. Always. I firmly believe they put the good shit at the end.
2. I'm addicted to reality tv. Like "Rock of Love" & "Charm School". It makes me feel glad to be me.
3. I have always wanted to dye my hair purple. Seriously. And if it turns out I have to have chemo I'm so going to do this. Because it won't matter...it's going to fall out anyways.
4. I only wear silver jewelry. I don't like gold. I don't know why.
5. I have to set things on odd numbers. Like the thermostat or cruise control. I don't like even numbers.

List five things you're afraid of:

1. Snakes. I know. I know. I live in the country. Doesn't matter. I only like the ones behind glass at the zoo.
2. Scarecrows. Not funny. Do not laugh. Every Halloween the people down the blacktop set out their scarecrow by the road. I cannot look at it. It scares the shit out of me. I will get even some day.
3. Recently I have become afraid of answering the phone when it's the doctors office.
4. Losing people I love. I almost didn't include this because it's a given. duh. Isn't everyone?
5. Losing me. I like my personality. I don't want it to change either through physical illness or alzheimers.



List five things you are grateful for:

1. Where I live. I am surrounded by nature's beauty. I love living here.
2. My amazing friends and wonderful family.
3. My sense of humor and ability to get excited over stupid stuff.
4. My inner peace.
5. That my daughter has found someone who encourages the best in her. Truly, Luke, you complete her.



List five things that make up your personal philosophy:

1. Everything happens for a reason. Even if you have no clue what the hell that reason is...you have to have faith that there is one.
2. Everything works out the way it's supposed to in the end. Again...not your job to figure out how...just to believe it will.
3. Karma happens. Do nice things for others (without the need for thanks or approval) and you will have good things happen to you. Do mean things to other people and you're screwed.
4. There is a lesson in everything. It IS your job to figure out what that lesson might be. And whether you are supposed to learn the lesson or teach it by example.
5.It is better to love fully with all your heart and be open to loss then to live behind walls and never let anyone in. Without pain you wouldn't be able to appreciate it's absence.



Those are my deep thoughts for the day.
What are yours?


♥Gert

Twoop! I mean poop!

Gert,
I here by give notice of intent to quit doing any and all laundry! I will give a week for my current employer to find a replacement and then I am on to bigger and better things. Such as; dishes- easy to clean and almost never have to chuck them, cooking- not adding more just continuing to half-ass that one, and child rearing- because I love them and so far I'm damn good at it. With that said, I shall live a much happier and more fulfilling life. Seriously, INK PENS in two different pants pockets? Both my washer and dryer hit? My favorite jeans and sweat pants? Enough is enough!
Hey maybe my life is interesting enough for twitter! Good luck to you Gert. As you know savvy, especially when referring to computers, isn't how one would describe your sister. Anyone. I shall live vicariously through your tweets. At least concerning the one and only Joe Hill! It's okay if he's a bit of a pev. You'd almost have to be a bit of a lot of things to be that creative. Reba? Really? I get the journalist more than that one. Let us all know if they do better or maybe just different things then we do.
I'm going to bed now so I can sulk privately about my ruined pants and dryer.


Boo-hoo,again! Gert!

Twitter- twits

Okay...so 24 hours into "Gert's Twitter Experiment" I can't say I'm impressed. If anyone cares to bother- I added my twitter feed to the side of the blog. First off...it's very complicated to set up. And I consider myself somewhat computer savvy. So if you aren't, you might want to get someone who is to help. Second...NONE of my friends are on twitter. And by that i mean nobody who's in my email contacts which would include nearly everyone I talk to. So in order to really give it a chance...I found some famous people to "follow". They include:

Ann Curry- so I think she's a really good journalist. I don't care if you agree.
Kevin Smith- I think he's a good director and a funny guy. Noticed from twitter, he's a bit of a perv.
Joe Hill- omigod. omigod. omigod. Son of the great Stephen King and a fabulous writer in his own right. LOVED Heart Shaped Box.
Neil Gaimen- another great author. Think Coraline.
Digg- well because it's interesting.
Greg Grunberg- He's Matt the psychic cop on "Heroes".
Reba McEntire- just because I can.

And so far...their "tweets" are interesting but not addictive. Also, when I logged on today, I had two followers. I thought I was pretty special and had actually garnered some attention with my witty "tweets". NO. When I clicked to see who they were...you guessed it...adult entertainers inviting me to view their nude pics. Not freakin likely. So apparently, much like myspace, twitter has some spam issues.

Overall, not impressed. But we'll give it a couple of days for good measure.

twittering on,
♥Gert

Tweet? You want some bird seed?

Gert,
There is no way I'm tweeting, twittering, and or chirping. I don't even like most people. Why would I want them to know what I'm doing? There is also the fact that I just got facebook figured out. It takes up a lot more time than I thought it would. Of course I really didn't need to start a farm or adopt a pet, but gosh it's fun!
The town I live in is small enough that everyone pretty much knows everyone's business, so I don't need people in other places knowing it too! Along those same lines, I have no interest in hearing about others lives. And just like you my own life is not something that would entertain anyone for long! I too have done some laundry and am getting ready to change cat boxes. I will be making dinner and getting children ready for bed after that. Ha ha, a pirate ship has pulled aside of the house and I must defend my booty! Just kidding. But I think you get the point.
I am very sick of doctors visits, so I can't imagine how you must be feeling. Although of the two of us you surely see them more than I anyway. Maybe that means I shouldn't complain now that I've had more than normal. Boo-hoo, complain, whine, and whoa is me! There, I'm done for now. I feel better. At least emotionally. I just want to get the one tomorrow over with and move on. I want my husband to stop looking at me like I'm gonna break or something. Don't get me wrong, I'm glad he wants me to be better. He's been very sweet. If he never asks me if I'm all right again it will be too soon! I am alright. Probably just need a tune-up.

Arg! Hildi

Everyday life...

So here it is 3:28 pm and I'm just getting to blog. I got online earlier and checked email, checked some message boards I subscribe too, and checked out a few blogs. Then I finally hauled myself out of my chair and did those everyday mundane tasks that at least make me feel like a contributing member of my household. You know, the chores no one likes to do : cleaned cat boxes, did a couple loads of laundry, tidied the kitchen, made the beds. Then I took a shower (so at least I'm clean and I smell pretty), finally made myself eat something, and then I watched a movie. Vikki Cristina Barcelona. Okay...I must admit, I did doze somewhere in the middle. But I woke up and still understood what was going on so I didn't reverse. It was actually quite an interesting movie. I didn't know it was a Woody Allen movie until it started. Sometimes I like his movies, other times not so much. This one was entertaining. It was one of those little slice of life movies. I guess I like those because I'm such a voyeur. Haha. Really it's the only way I can explain my addiction to reality shows. And here's a confession: I watched reality tv for 9 hours straight yesterday. Okay, not straight because there was a nap from 2:30 to 4. But before and after said nap...reality tv all the way. I just can't seem to help myself.



So on to my next thought...twitter. I don't get it. It's supposed to be the in thing right now. Everyone "tweets". So I went to the website and watched a video about the concept. I still am at a loss. The idea seems to be that you can let other people know exactly what you're doing every moment of everyday. I can't imagine anyone seriously wants to know that about me. I mean how boring would my "tweets" be? I'm sitting at my desk in the family room. I'm laying on the couch in the family room. Ate a fruit cup. Cleaned the cat boxes. Indeed, I think this would only bring home exactly how boring my life is. And anyone who followed my "tweets" would indeed perish from ennui.



The video says that you can follow your friends "tweets". Maybe I don't want to know exactly what my friends are doing all the time. I mean really, if I already know all that, what on earth are we going to talk about over lunch? It used an example that "so & so" didn't know that her friend "whatshisname" was a baseball fan until she read on his twitter that he was watching the game. Um. Excuse me, isn't that the point of conversation? To find out what your friends interests are? Seriously, this twitter business could completely take the place of human face to face interaction. I find this deeply disturbing.



And so let's say there's a lot of people following your "tweets". Isn't that kind of like stalking? I mean how bad would it creep you out if you were picking up a prescription at the pharmacy and the guy looks at you and says "so you had meatloaf for dinner last night?"?? WTF??? Seriously creepy. I just don't think this can possibly end well. That said, you know I'm gonna sign up and give it a try. We'll call it "Gert's Twitter Experiment". And I will post full details! In fact...I will try to get Hildi involved. Muahahaha.



Well I'd better go start this experiment..."tweet you later",
♥Gert

I see light!

Wow! For a few days there it was touch and go. I definitely got addicted. There is so much to do on Facebook! I have a farm and a poke pet. I like the farm, but I love my pet. He's the cutest little frog named Ferdinand! Lots of people to be friends with and talk to. I have found a few people from my second high school.
As you know I didn't go to my high school reunion. Firstly, because I wasn't at the high school I graduated from for more then half a day all year. I didn't really know anyone. Most of my friends where from other schools and work. I obviously wasn't invited to the one I attended before that, because I didn't graduate from there. It would have made a huge impact on my life if I had. Maybe not for the better. Who knows? It is pretty neat to see people's pictures and catch up now. I sent friend requests to two girls I was very close to, so I can't wait to find out how they are and what they're up to. If I had the opportunity to go to a reunion and see them I think I would. Like you, I also enjoyed at least three years and two of my high schools, so I have no hard feeling or bad memories.
I did attend a reunion with Jerome. It was his ten-year reunion. Of course ninety percent of his class still lives in the area, so they still run with the same crowds and have the same friends. Even at that I was surprised at how clique-ish it was. I went to the ladies room{ I'm allowed } and there were those girls who do make-up constantly and offer false compliments until you leave. I couldn't contain my laughter while I listened to their shallow, vain and very annoying conversation.
Then there was the crazy ex from hell! Not kidding. She had to have been about seven months pregnant in heels and a short dress. Normally I would say "bravo sister", but this chick was sad. Jerome had failed to say hello to her while we were inside and so on our way to the car she came running after us, in all of her tottering glory, screaming his name and waving. Finally she caught up and said hi to him. The introductions were made and then we stood in silence for a minute before Jerome said we had to get home to our child. Let's see; bitchy blondes- check, meatheads- check, awkward moments- check! To this day she tackles him whenever she sees him out{ with or without me }, and completely ignores me when our paths cross. And of course when we got on Facebook she was one of the first to request his friendship. No, no psycho, not my husband! He can't stand you anymore than I can.
Next year is his twenty-year reunion. Oh boy! Can't wait. Mine would be way cooler and I think even Jerome would have a good time.


Back to real life...uhg....Hildi

Hildi...Hildi...Hildi...

Wherefore art thou Hildi? I fear that Hildi has succumbed to that great stealer of souls (or eater of time, whatever you prefer) Facebook! Haha. I must admit that it is addictive and I've wasted many an hour or two when my intention was to merely "pop" on. But then the other day I read an MSN article that said Facebook is doomed. That all the cool kids have left. What?! Does this mean I'm no longer one of the "cool kids"? Oh social networking site...thou ego bruiser, thou great stealer of vanity. Whatever...I've only had my Facebook page for a brief time. And anyone I'm interested in talking to still has one...so take that MSN. Maybe those cool kids aren't really so cool after all if I'm not even missing them. I'm much more addicted to Blogger anyway. I think it's like my addiction to reality TV...it's like peeking in on other people's lives...and their lives are always so bad they make mine look great in comparison! It's the old adage...no matter how bad you have it...someone always has it worse. It teaches me to count my blessings and cherish them. Even on days when I'd gladly sell you the members of my family for a ticket to the Bahamas. Yeah, I have those days.



So...recently my high school held a reunion. Now since it was a DOD school overseas (England to be exact) and quite a small school at that (87 kids in my graduating class), they hold reunions every three years open to all who attended the school. They alternate locations allover the US in order to allow more people to attend. It's a great idea and I see from the pictures (posted on Facebook, of course) that lots of people have a really good time. I have never and will never attend one. It's not that there aren't people I miss from High School...there are. But I'm already in contact with them. But for one...it's always way expensive. No one does budget reunions apparently. And I would much rather spend the cash on a family vacation. Secondly, I really have no wish to go back and relive high school. Sure, I really enjoyed it. High school was actually a pretty good time for me. And I relive it every so often when my kids ask a question about "the old days", but it's not something I want to dwell on. I would rather live in the "here" and the "now". I'm a different person. One who has no desire to do it all over again. It's done and I don't want to get caught back up in the game of who's popular and who's not. And all the petty jealousies that entails. I know we're all adults now, but I also know that changes very little. =P



Anyway...that's all I've got for today. Life is very quiet with Lulu & Jethro off at camp being the best darn camp counselors ever. The only drama I got from them was when they were texting me last night. Lulu is not happy with Jethro's choice of female company. Haha. Shoe's on the other foot now, eh? And Larry is gone most of the time too. I am enjoying my peace and quiet as best I can. I just wish I had the energy to get more done!



Come back fair Hildi...come back!

♥Gert

what a blah day...

Today is the perfect day for doing absolutely nothing. It's rainy and stormy and the house is dark and cool. I would love to slip back in bed and do nothing but read! Alas, it is not to be. So of course I'm online. I have about a half hour before I have to get in the shower and get ready to head to town. I have that ct scan & bloodwork today. Yuck. I have to drink the orange kool-aid stuff. I hate real kool-aid and that stuff tastes even worse. Guess at least I'll get some reading time in the hour I sit in the waiting room. Haha. After that I'm supposed to go to dinner and a movie with a friend. I am excited about that but I'm just so tired all the time anymore that I feel like I have to drag myself to do it. Ridiculous!

Tomorrow I want to at least start on the bathroom! Get the taping and hopefully get the primer on. The weather has at least been cooler so I won't sweat to death when I shut off the air and open the windows. Otherwise that Kilz primer would get me. That's some strong stuff! It makes me dizzy. I will put the fan on though to help some. =]

I have been running a low grade fever alot lately. Found out last night that's a symptom. I know you keep telling me to "think positive" until all test results are in. And I like to think at least, that I'm not a hypochodriac...but I've had this gut feeling for months that things weren't quite right. Sadly, that's part of the reason I delayed seeing the doctor. (Denial is good...worked for gpa!). So I just want to get everything done so that I can "think positive" about treatment and beating this stuff and getting well! Waiting is by far the worst part. That and being tired. It's so difficult to explain being exhausted. I thought I knew what tired was until this last week. And you tell someone you're too tired to do something, they look at you like you're a faker. Seriously, if my eyes weren't so bloodshot I don't think anyone would believe me! Haha.

Well girl I have to go get ready to go town. Hopefully the movie and dinner will perk me up!
Love you.

♥Gert

Preaching to the choir!

I have been having problems with insurance companies since I got insurance it seems. It only gets worse when your children are prescribed something they take all the time. It's amazing to me what they won't cover. Asthma inhalers, singular, a little plastic thing that fits on the inhaler. It's called an AeroChamber and it was fifty-five dollars. I would think, as you do, that if a doctor says you need it then it should be covered. After all that's why we spend money every month for insurance. Some months we don't even go to the doctor, so we should definitely have some extra saved for the more expensive times. Also, it's not like even if it's covered we still don't have to pay. We pay for doctor visits and prescriptions. Granted it's less with insurance but we still shell out the green every time. I'd still rather have this system than socialized medicine, but there should be some reforms.
Speaking of doctor visits, I have one coming up on Monday. It is with my lady doctor and I am really not looking forward to it. After the reports I received from you and one of my friends on your last visits, I don't want to go at all. Thank goodness that technology has progressed and treatments, if not cures, have come so far.

Dreading it, Hildi

Grr! Insurance & drug companies rule the world...

Geez! I'm so angry! I do not comprehend how doctors can deal with insurance companies tying their hands behind their backs! Isn't the doctor the one who spent 8-12 years in school learning his trade?! So why is it the insurance company (in cahoots with the drug companies) that get to decide which medicine he can prescribe a patient? What kind of confidence in your doctor does it inspire when he says "I realize this medicine has practically cured you but your insurance won't cover it so I'm going to prescribe this other one that probably won't work as well"?? Are you SERIOUS?!!! Something is seriously wrong with this situation!

You know for the most part...we try to avoid political or social commentary in our blogs but I have got to vent this one out! As some of you know...I spent last year being very ill and making the rounds of doctors and tests. Pouring through lots of books and scouring the Internet to try to figure out what was wrong with me. And though there's still some disagreement between my neurologist and my rhuematalogist the basic diagnosis I was given in February was fibromyalgia. They are keeping watch on other things...but treating for this now. I love all of my doctors here in town. Once I had the diagnosis I started on meds. The first med broke me out in horrible hives! The next one, in conjunction with another med helped. I mean I was still sick and still wiped out and in pain some of the time. But it was manageable. And better then last year. And let me just interject...that I try also to do my part...to keep to a schedule, get enough sleep and rest when my body screams at me. I was doing ok. Then I went for a check up with my primary care doc. And he says there's a new med. Savella. Just got FDA approval in April. He started one patient on it with good results, do I want to try it? Well sure, why not? He gave me a two week starter kit and an appt to discuss my results. OMG! This medicine rocks! Seriously, after a week...I felt like I was normal. My energy level was better, I was almost never in pain and while I was still sometimes "foggy" it wasn't nearly as bad as usual. I was happy! I raved about this med to everyone I know. Go to my appt. tell my doc how great I feel, he gives me a prescription. This is where it goes downhill... My pharmacy informs me that my insurance does not cover this med and they will have to get a "prior approval". If I want to go ahead and buy it...it will be $130 for a month's supply. (Why sure, I'll just whip that kinda cash out of my spare change drawer). I bought a weeks supply so that I wouldn't be without meds while they straightened this out. So the doc's nurse calls and says that the prior approval is denied. The insurance company wants me to try Lyrica first. If I try it and it doesn't work then they might approve the Savella. For real??!! So you want me to try something that might not work and I have been advised I may have an adverse reaction to just because my insurance company has a deal with the maker of Lyrica and not Savella? After feeling so well...you want me to give it up?! It's like letting a prisoner go for two days then recapturing him and screaming "PSYCH!!!". Talk about bummed. But being not rich, what choice do I have? So the topper to this travesty is that when I get home...there's a letter waiting from my insurance company...it is as follows:

A request for prior approval for pharmaceutical service(s) or item(s) was received in the drug unit from your medical provider on July 1, 2009. The request has been denied for this item.
The item was denied for the following reason: The request was denied because other equally effective therapies are available without prior authorization and have not been tried.

Really?! Do you think they used the word "denied" enough? I get the picture. My question is this... why is it my insurance company thinks that Lyrica is "equally effective"? How the blazing hell would they know?! Do they have fibromyalgia? Have they tried both drugs to find this result? NO!!! They simply have a deal with the drug company to get Lyrica cheaper. That blows!!! It's unfair to the doctor who obviously thinks otherwise and it's unfair to me the patient who had great results with one drug but is being forced to give that up to try another drug. So FU insurance companies!!! If I didn't believe so strongly in karma...I'd wish you in my situation. (yes Hildi, I AM sticking my tongue out at the computer right now!)

Okay...I'm done venting. I'll try the other drug. In fact, I started it last night. And if the itching I'm doing, is any indication, I'll be visiting the ER with hives and an allergic reaction soon. Great. So how I wanted to spend my time. Especially when I know I could be feeling great if some corporate big wig hadn't decided what meds I should take. =[

itchy & pissed,
gert♥

I'm sorry for all the things I said to you...

Baby I am soooo sorry about the "deep dark secret" thing. Honest to goddess it was NOT a threat. I would never ever tell that one. I did not mean it as a threat, but a friend pointed out that it came across that way to her as well. And I sincerely apologize to your husband as well because I did not mean to lash out at him. I do know that you torture yourself with it. I was feeling extremely betrayed by the fact that you would speak to mom and dad about what I saw as our fight without even consulting me first. It was like you were running to get them on your side without even giving me a chance to present my issues.

Yes we both said some things that were less then nice. It's not something I usually do. I usually try to go with "if you can't say something nice, keep your mouth shut" adage. And as I did not mean what I said as a threat, maybe you didn't mean your blog as an attack. Unfortunately it came across that way to me. And no, I don't really see you that way. And I would hope that you don't really see me as a self centered rebellious bitch who lives to piss people off. =] Like I told dad today...sometimes it just makes me very sad that there seem to be so many people who know me better then my own family. I'm not blaming you guys for that and I'm not taking the entire blame either, it's just the way it's come to pass. It doesn't mean I don't love you guys more then almost anything it just seems sad to me.

As I said to dad also...I'm not jealous most of the time that they have a better relationship with you. You lived with them longer and had more of your personality formed before you left home so naturally they know you better. I left home young and had a lot of life changing experiences after I was gone that have forged my personality. And we've never really spent enough time together for them to get to know some aspects. This last trip with mom was sooo good in that respect. I felt like it really gave us an opportunity to interact as adults and for her to see me in a different light. It also gave my children a chance to see her in a different element and really get to make some "fun" memories. Like the hour we spent in the car searching for the invisible restaurant.

I hope that we get a chance to talk this out and I hope that we can put it behind us and use it as a chance to grow. I missed you so much this week. I had some drama with my daughter and you were the first phone call I almost made. You have been more help on that front then you can possibly realize...not that you have any experience raising teenagers but her personality is so much more like yours that you always help me understand how she might be feeling and what she might respond to. I can only hope you find me as much help when yours are older. We have worked hard to get where we are in our relationship and I would hate for that to all go to waste.

I should not have called your blog "whiny" either. The whole point of this was for us to express stresses, concerns and exchange advice. I should have said that sometimes we back ourselves into corners with our efforts to help others and then feel put upon. I do the same thing. Hence my cooking for 13 men last weekend. And if I remember correctly...I did call you and whine about it. Haha.

In short, I'm sorry for everything. You're right...we all did put you in the middle which I know is a tough place to be. And you have worked very hard to make up for past mistakes and repair relationships and I'm really proud of you. And grateful.

Love you Hildi.
Gert♥

GEEZ!

Gert,
We are not very good sisters right now, huh? There was some very mean things said over the last few days. I know I am not blameless, so I will say," I'm sorry!" I am sorry if you felt attacked in the first place and so chose to snap back. It should never have been about anything but vacation and an agreement to disagree, perhaps.
I don't like hurting people purposely or accidentally either. Especially not family. As you may have gathered, all of my family is very important to me. Part of that is because I was not a very good daughter, sister, or aunt when I was in my late-teens and early-twenties. These are"my" issues. Maybe I go overboard with trying to make things perfect and peaceful. I truly do feel sometimes that I'm put in the middle. Monday night I received phone calls from you and our parents telling me about the conversation you had. Both parties wanted me to agree with them.I did agree with mom and dad, but later saw your side of the situation. These are the times when I feel I am PUT there. Other than my plaintive blog, I usually don't mind. I am happy to help and feel helpful with my family. After all, I complain about parenthood occasionally. You know I wouldn't trade it for the world.
The only thing that really worries me is whether your last blog is the way you truly see me and my actions. I hope not. As I mentioned before, I have made a huge effort to achieve a positive outlook. Most of what I said is simply the way I look at life and my opinion. Dr.Phil, I'm not. By the way I like him. Not so much Oprah. If I give the impression I'm on a VERY high horse, it is just that I am fairly happy with my life and want others to be as well. It has taken me a long time to get here. Yes I still bitch about my marriage, and other aspects, but basically I'm happy. I feel I have a good, solid relationship with mom and dad. I know you don't always feel you do, so I have been trying to fix that as well. I won't anymore, because it seems I'm hurting you that way too.
I have to add that I was more hurt than I have been in a while when you mentioned my deep-dark-secret. It felt like a threat and the fact that my sister would go there was painful. I have said and done things in anger and hurt to people I love before, so I can't throw any stones. In the future I would appreciate it if you would forget I told you my secret. Know that it's something I punish myself for enough. Everyday. That is the one shot that hurt my husband as well.It is also not something I want to let ruin our new friendship or sisterhood. Let us agree that bitching at each other is always better in person. And try to move past this ugliness.


Hildi Von Beaverhausen, still here!

Lonely?

You live a rich fantasy life. Not only do you not know me, I don't think you really know yourself either. You surely see yourself differently then others do. But that's just my "opinion". I wrote you a blog where I told you my real "opinions" but I deleted it. I don't like to say things that people might forgive, but will be unable to forget.

I'm not going to pepper this with my own oh-so-wise life observations as you did. But I will look for you on Oprah because surely your the next Dr. Phil. You see yourself as go between, I see you as a meddler. Stick to your business. You calling mom & dad to tell them I was declining vacation so that I wouldn't have to talk to them was the biggest case of "tattle-tale"ing I've ever seen. Again grow up. I can handle my own battles and I never once implied I wasn't speaking to mom & dad. But don't worry...I won't retaliate. I'm still keeping your deep dark secret just that- a secret.

Here's my last piece of advice...you need to take a good look at your life and a good hard look at yourself in the mirror. If you don't like what you see then stop playing at life and make some changes. And if you feel "lonely" as your little whiny blog suggested, maybe it's because that high horse your riding is towering above all of us your busy looking down on.

Gert